Giant Catfish Caught in Missouri River Found to Be Lindsay Lohan

After a 45 minute fight, Greg Bernal finally managed to real in one giant catfish. Greg was in the boat with his girlfriend, who somehow managed to not breakup with him after watching him real in a fish for close to an hour, when he pulled the beast from the water to exclaim “This could be a new state record.” He could be right and then some… (according to KSDK)

Bernal said he and his girlfriend, Janet, went fishing on the Missouri River near the Columbia Bottom Conservation Area at dusk on Monday. They weren’t having much luck, moving around throughout the night and casting their lines to no avail.

Around 12:45 a.m., the fish hit Bernal’s 40-pound test line.

Bernal was optimistic that he’d landed a new state record and contacted Danny Brown of the Missouri Department of Conservation to report his catch. Though initially skeptical, Brown suggested they weigh the fish at a feed and grain store in New Melle, Missouri.

Bernal’s blue catfish weighed in at 130 pounds, besting the old state record by 27 pounds.

Sadly for Bernal, the tests revealed that his catch is invalid for all state and world records as it turned out what he caught was actually Lindsay Lohan (see file photo below), hiding in the Missouri River to escape prison time.

Still a hell of a catch and if the girlfriend dumps you for all the midnight fishing, you can probably get some action from Lohan.