Wellston Needs a Batman Really Really Bad

In the midst of a crack down on crime, criminals rolled up to Wellston city hall and fired several shots in to the front of the building in broad daylight, between 8a and 9a yesterday morning.

Fortunately, no one was home when the shots rang out, and the damage was limited to shot up windows and some holes in a metal frame, right next to the sign that says firearms are prohibited on the premises.

Also Monday, Mayor Linda Whitfield says she received obscene phone calls, and reported them to a fellow city official, Councilwoman Helen Jackson.

Jackson says Mayor Whitfield called her in tears, to describe the calls she received, but Jackson would not further explain.

…maybe just call the cops instead of your girlfriend the Councilwoman. Just a thought. Also, you weren’t given this job as a gift, I mean you ran for the Mayor of Wellston. Freaking Wellston…the butt hole of St. Louis. Sure the hairy ass around it isn’t all that great, but Wellston is definitely the butt hole. Some people like it, but its best to just squeeze things out of there and you can clean up after.

This is some crazy crap though. Shooting up the front of City Hall, even if it is in Wellston, is pretty damn insane. Like Gotham City insane. What leads do you have Police Chief Walker?

Police Chief Greenbaylum T. Walker thinks the shooting and the threats may be tied to an ongoing crackdown by police on the city’s criminal element.

Over the weekend, the chief says a dozen people were arrested on charges ranging from gun possession to loitering, and perhaps the shooting was in retaliation for the arrests.

So no leads then? Just the obvious stuff.  Ok, lets move on then. What’s the move now? Crazy SWAT team action? The creation of a Robocop? Killing right people in the hope that their son will grow up and clean Wellston up for you?

The chief says the mayor and the council have authorized the hiring of additional police officers, and he’s brought in three new ones and hopes to hire as many as four more.

Three or four huh? Yup. That oughta cover it.

You are at least going to protect the Mayor right? It’s pretty clear she seems to be in some level of danger.

Chief Walker says the department will keep a closer eye on the mayor, in light of the threats.

Good. Plus no one really knows what area she lives in so that should help things…

That should be easy, since the mayor lives within a stones throw from the police department.

Dear Mayor of Wellston: Buy a gun.

via KSDK