Oldest Living Missourian Dies, Tells Everyone Bogus Tips on How to Live as Long as Her

Missouri’s oldest resident has finally kicked the bucket.  112 year old Florence Poe, died on Tuesday from complications of a stroke she had experienced a few days prior. Born on August 24th, 1897, Florence lived on her own until her 90’s when she moved in with her daughter and then later at the Ratliff Care Center.

Michael Ratliff, the center’s administrator, said Poe remained active in her last months. He once asked her the secret to a long life.

…ok let me pause this right there. I hate when people ask really old people how they got so old because the answer is always…always…complete crap. You get non-sensical answers ranging from “I just take it one day at a time.” to “Well, I’ll tell ya. Drink a 6 pack every day, eat steak and eggs for every meal, smoke like a chimney and beat your wife every time she acts up to keep your heart strong.” and then people just go “Awww…you are something else grandpa!” Seriously, have you ever heard a legit answer from an old person from that question? Answer: No.

Let’s hear Flo’s shall we?

“She said, ‘Well, honey, you just got to keep breathing,'” he said.

…and there you go. Completely retarded.  Apparently when you get old enough that people ask you that question you can get away with and dumb-ass answer and people not only take it, they print it like it actually means something. Frankly eating the woman’s still beating heart to gain her strength probably gives you a better chance to live longer than taking advice like that.

Pictured above: Evangeline Lilly from Lost because no one wants to see a picture of some old broad.

via Globe Democrat

Health  old  woman