St. Louis Chemical Trap Finally Nabs a Homeless Guy

crazy-homeless-manIt was raining and homeless guy walking the St. Louis streets spies a nice empty and dry tank so he crawls in…gotcha!

ST. LOUIS (AP) — A homeless man is expecting recover after passing out in a tank that continued residue of a hazardous chemical.

[The Tank] had residue from a chemical called Toluene, which is used in paint and paint thinners.

St. Louis’ plan to capture and do awesome experiments on the homeless was thwarted by the employees of Brenntag Co, who saw the man and called the authorities.  If it wasn’t for that meddling St. Louis’ scientists could have created superhuman homeless guys by now!

When the city was asked why there was a “Free food!  Don’t mind the smell…” sign in front of the tank, they replied “How ’bout that National Health Care plan?!”  and then ran out of the room during the ensuing argument.


The name of the man, in his 50s, was not released.

His name wasn’t released because frankly no one cares.  I mean if they released the name would you be all like “Oh yeah Earl!  Good guy…needs to get a home.”?  No.  Hell even if you did know him what would that do?  I’m not sure why they ever release anyone’s name for news stories like this.