Two things are clear from that graphic above: 1. My photoshop skills are l33t. 2. St. Louis’ collective love for Kurt Warner hasn’t been this high since…well since he took _our_ football team to the Super Bowl.
But why do we collectively love this guy so much? If you have been around St. Louis for a while now you are saying “What?! Kurt Warner is like if Jesus knew karate! He’s just too amazing to understand!” Well, what if you are new to St. Louis, or you are a google searching putting up his feet on our little cyber dive-bar here for a quick drink in the desert that is the internet? Kurt left town 7 or 8 years ago people! Everyone could use a refresher course! So let PunchingKitty.com count the reasons…
Why St. Louis Loves Kurt Warner
1. He’s a good football player.
2. He poops vitamins that he gives to under-nourished youth.
3. His mere existence gives Kevin Slaten something to talk about.
4. He transmits his thoughts to my dreams and tells me to kill people and light fires.
5. He might be the second coming of Jesus. Of course, if he is, he’s holding off the last judgement until after the Pro Bowl. You have 2 weeks sinners!
6. One time when he was with the Giants he was on the other team’s 23 yard line with 8 to go on the third down, and he fired a pass up the middle but it was too high and the receiver couldn’t get to it. It would appear that Kurt failed, but really there was a snake about to bite a small child in the first row behind the end zone and Kurt hit the snake on the head with his pass saving the kid. The snake was stunned but unharmed and returned to the wilderness after the game.
7. Kurt’s hugs cure the common cold. Though apparently not down syndrome.
8. He reads all your crazy Letters to the Editor about him you send to the Post Dispatch.
9. He has a good Christian hair cut.
10. When he touches me, its never a bad touch.
Do you have any you want to add? Toss them in the comments or hit us up on Twitter (Remember to put #pktip so it shows up on the front page!)