As you may have heard yesterday, Albert Pujols, king of St. Louis, chose to leave and play in Los Angeles for $40-ish million extra dollars and a guaranteed 10 year contract. After the news broke, all of us chose to handle the sudden realization that come spring someone else will be playing 1st base and running through Oquendo stop signs at third in different ways.
Some took to Facebook, expressing their anger on the Official Albert Pujols fan page:
…others chose denial, with faces loaded down with self-loathing, picking up free Pujols #5 shirseys being discarded by local businesses:
…and still others crowded around Pujols’ statue in Westport stationed right outside of his self-named restaurant:
Oh, well it sounded good, but no one actually did that last one as you can see. In general St. Louis took the news pretty well. Hell, which one of us wouldn’t have done the same thing? $50 Million extra is $50 Million extra and we’d certainly move for $50 Million bucks. Hell we’d stack up crippled babies like bowling pins and make our loved ones hurl bleeding AIDS patients at them for 50 Million bucks. The good news is that nothing was leaked to a national sports columnist about Pujols anything stupid like how his “heart” is suddenly all about southern California or something…
It was Albert Pujols, who uttered the words to agent Dan Lozano that would dramatically change baseball’s landscape.
“The Angels,” he said, “are the ones tugging on my heart.”
Oh for f*ck sake. We weren’t planning on doing anything too mean, but you had to pull the “heart” card when it was obviously about money, so for you’re lies this will now be on the internet forever!