It’s been a hectic two-week vacation, but we are back at the keyboard, tickling your lookin’ balls with the kind of finger magic and slightly dirty words that are usually only reserved for the most classy of summer hookups where you think she might be a little freak, but you don’t want to scare her off, so you just like kinda slap her ass a little…just hard enough where she can get into it, but soft enough so that if she gets all weird about it, you can just laugh and say “No! I didn’t slap you, I just put my hand down and I guess it felt like did I.”
We missed a few things we wish we could have covered (Hello St. Louis County Twitter fight!) but we may have to sadly pass since those stories are now mush like so many rained-on newspapers on your vacationing neighbor’s driveway. Don’t fret though, we’re working hard to get back in to the swing of things as soon as possible for you!
Also, here is a cat breakdancing: