Jenna Fischer Hates Us or Something

Jenna Fischer Hates Us or Something

I know! We can’t believe it either. Frankly it just hurts so damn much, and we don’t know what we can do to make the pain go away.

Ok, here’s the backstory: A few weeks ago the call went out to the various St. Louis media members that hometown girl Jenna Fischer was coming back to St. Louis to accept some award from a whosywhatsit [Editor’s Note: She’s winning the Cinema St. Louis Award] because of her acting and also debut her new movie…”Pam Gets a New Job” or something [Editor’s Note: Her movie is “A Little Help”]…to a St. Louis audience. “Who would like to line up an interview with her?” The email asked us. “We would love to!” we replied! …hmm, been a little while now, still hadn’t heard anything, but it’s only been a few days. Days turned in to a week, and that phone just sat there, not ringing. Well, her people will get a hold of us, we just know it! She’s a comedic actor from St. Louis after all, total match made in interview heaven…we better go ahead and just go put on our suit for the interview. [Days later] Still nothing! This suit is starting to stink and we’ve run out of bad poetry ideas…also the neighbors must be getting sick of all the late night weeping. We’d given up all hope until we get it rubbed in our faces: Riverfront Times!! Whoever This Guy is from STLToday! What the hell?! You make us sad Jenna Fischer. Very very sad.

Why don’t you like us Jenna Fischer?! What did we do? Seriously, you’re one of only maybe 6 people are consistently nice too (Proof!).

Here, Jenna, we wrote you this haiku:

Jenna no like us
but we are the awesomest
and also very sad

It totally would have been a fun interview. You would have been all like “OMG that is such a great question!” and we would have been like “Aww, I mean it was OK.” and then you’re like “No, seriously that was awesome, I’m going to answer the hell out of that thing!”, then we’re all “Awesome.” and do a hot hair flip thing and do a pec dance, and you would be all “…have you ever thought what it would be like if we kissed?”, and then we’re totally “Yeah.” but all soft and cool like.

Freaking learned the pec dance thing for nothing!