St. Louis Takes Top Prize in Crime…Again.

If you didn’t like the last 34 stories about how St. Louis ranks high in crime rate, well guess what?! Still true. Maybe you should move.

Don’t move to Camden, NJ though. They are the only place worse than us. Which means the worst has happened…freaking Detroit did better than us in this list. Super. Weak.

The newly release book “City Crime Rankings 2009-2010” not only has a great catchy little title, but also lots and lots of PDFs with numbers and letters on them, all saying St. Louis is the 2nd-worst crime city behind the Goodfella’s home base in Camden, NJ.

The purpose of City Crime Rankings is to serve as a resource for researchers, city and law enforcement officials, and the community. The book provides the means by which individuals can compare local communities to other similar communities through comparison to the national level of reported crime as well as crime rates per 100,000 of individual types of reported crime, violent and property crime categories, and overall crime.

The crimes tracked by the UCR Program include the violent crimes of murder, rape, robbery, and aggravated assault and the property crimes of burglary, larceny-theft, motor vehicle theft, and arson. These are also sometimes known as “Crime Index” offenses; the index is simply the total of the eight main offense categories.

The overall city crime rankings top 10 are as follows along with our assumed reason:

1. Camden, NJ — Gangsters and the Situation. That would make us want to kill someone too.

2. St. Louis, MO — I think it might be the proximity to Illinois.

3. Oakland, CA — Not sure, but my research of watching the movie “Friday” 10 years ago tells me that Deebo might be on the loose again.

4. Detroit, MI — No way are they really this low. Where are you hiding the bodies Detroit? Tell us! Someone poke the Lions’ offensive line with a stick.

5. Flint, MI — Wait. Maybe this is where Detroit put the bodies.

6. New Orleans, LA — Having permanently pruney hands for the last five years would make you stabby too.

7. Birmingham, AL — Hey everybody! Wanna go to Birmingham?! …didn’t think so. That general attitude probably has something to do with it.

8. Cleveland, OH — You did this Lebron James. Yes, this data is from last year, but that just means they knew it was coming.

9. Jackson, MS — Both sides till bumming about that whole slavery ugliness.

10. Memphis, TNIt’s Memphis.

Go blind reading all the data at