The Missouri Supreme Court is apparently mulling over a law that would require all advertisements for lawyers to include the statement:
“The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisement.”
You know, because if not, I was totally gonna.
Here’s how it would work if the law passes for each type of ad (from STLToday.com and the Missouri Board of Governers):
Print ads: In a font in high contrast to the background at least one-third the size of the largest font displaying a telephone number, e-mail address, website or other contact info.
Radio or audio ads: Spoken in a cadence not faster than the slowest statement of a telephone number or, in the absence of a telephone number, audibly in a clear and understandable manner.
Television ads: The same as radio if spoken. If printed on the screen, in a font with high contrast to the background at least one-third the size of the largest font displaying the telephone number. If no telephone number, in a type size and manner that is reasonably legible for the duration of the advertisement or seven seconds, whichever is shorter.
How the hell did this become necessary?! We’ve been to Wal-Mart, so we know that there is a large segment of people in Missouri that are in fact dumb enough to make this law needed, but how does a government figure that need out in the first place? Did they poll the morons we are sending to prison at an alarming rate?
Missouri: “Hey Cletus, before we send your toothless ass to jail, can I ask you a question? How did you go about picking your lawyer?”
Meth Head: “I saw’ed him on the Tee Vee!”
Missouri: “…and what? That was it? Anything else?”
Methy McGee: “Nope. He shooo looked smart with that fancy suit and his eye patch!”
This law is for you Cletus.