A house blew up in Florissant but it look like the blast might have been part of a suicide attempt rather that the usual St. Louis area meth-house explosion.
“It blew it off the foundation,” said Deputy Fire Chief Scott Seppelt of the Florissant Valley Fire Protection District.
It appeared that the blast knocked out a window on a silver Kia Soul that was parked on the street near the house. [A neighbor] said that’s where authorities found a suicide note addressed to the dead man’s brother.
Nothing’s more depressing than finishing up your suicide note and then thinking to yourself, “I’ll leave it on the counter…no wait, I’m going to blow up the house! I guess I’ll just leave it in my Kia Soul.” You’ve got it backwards bro. If you’re going to blow something up, let it be the Kia Soul. Since you’re on your way out anyway, do us all a favor and get those stupid gerbils, or whatever they are, from the commercial in the car before you light the fuse. Seriously, what the hell is with that commercial? As if poser gerbils driving a car wasn’t enough, now they have to dance in the middle of a futuristic intergalactic war? WTF is the point of all of this?! If you like those commercials, we can’t be friends. It’s as simple as that.
Doesn’t matter though, he already chose to take out the house instead of the car. If this is in fact a suicide, we’re torn on the approach. At first you think blowing yourself up is an interesting way to go out, but how did he know a neighbor kid wouldn’t be fetching a Frisbee next to his house? He didn’t, and it makes this a pretty dickheaded way to kill yourself and there are lots of better alternatives if that’s the way you want to go out. Don’t they have rat poison, guns or Taco Bells in Florissant?!