Alderman Scott Ogilvie thinks that we should pass a law in St. Louis barring gas stations from selling anything harder than beer because seeing little bottles of booze makes kids want to drink illegally, and makes adults want to drink and drive…beer is cool though because, maybe he likes beer or something and…dude…totally swearing right now…he drives better with a few beers in the system! For. Reals.

“This is the kind of thing that’s being sold right on the counter of many gas stations now,” Ogilvie said, “This is a pre-packaged jello [sic] shot.”

Ogilvie argued that patrons are being tempted to drink and drive, minors are getting exposed to a culture of drinking all within reach, and the drinkers are trashing the city with empties.

Little liquor bottles and pre-packaged Jell-O shots are totally the problem because we never see empty beer cans or chip wrappers on the street, and there’s no way people will figure out they can just drive outside the city, or just to a freaking grocery store, to get their little booze on.

Seriously though, this law is dumb and if passed will accomplish precisely dick for the city. If Alderman Ogilvie can’t pop in to a Quiktrip for a soda, and not make it out without three Jell-O shots and a little bottle of vodka, Quiktrip isn’t the problem. The only thing we blame Quiktrip for is their erratic checkout process. “That guy right there just walked up to the counter, but we were here first! Ugh…don’t look at him first…don’t look at him first…don’t look at him first…dammit! …and he’s paying for his 15 Lotto tickets in pennies. Perfect.”

via KMOX