Couple Gets Caught for Faking Paralysis

“Hey, what if I just say I’m paralyzed…I mean hell, I can just sit there when they come to check it out! I’m a god-damned genius.”

I’ll give you one guess where this amazingly stupid idea came from. Yup. East St. Louis.

A judge in East St. Louis sentenced 25-year-old Amy Rush of Glen Carbon on Monday to two years behind bars for her role in the scam. Her ex-husband, Jeffrey Rush, was ordered Friday to spend six and a half years in prison and to repay more than $300,000. Amy Rush must make $241,000 in restitution.

Authorities say the pair stuck to the story that Jeffrey Rush had lost use of his legs after a 2004 rollover crash just weeks before his Army company shipped off to Iraq.

God this is retarded.

These people clearly thought this plan couldn’t fail. They thought they could just tell the government that he was a paraplegic and not only would he not have to go to Iraq anymore, the government would give them tons of money for literally sitting on his ass. Brilliant.

…until he just couldn’t help but enter that breakdancing contest at the Army base.

“Wow that Sargent Rush sure can bust a move. Wha wha what?! Wait a minute!”

“Oh! Shit. I mean…it’s a miracle! …nah. Seriously though. I’m screwed aren’t I?”

Freaking amateur. He should have just said that he just recently got the use of his legs back after eating 15 left over fetuses from the dumpster behind The Hustler Club and he was totally just on his way to call the Army and tell them its cool, he can go to Iraq now. I mean, they can’t prove that didn’t happen.

via KSDK