No, in all seriousness, this is not even remotely news. Oh wait yes it is. No, its still not, its just that St. Louis Business Journal has completely run out of ideas.
The Starbucks at 9820 Clayton Rd. in Ladue has closed.
No one answered the phone at the store Thursday.
That’s some investigative journalism there! Really hard hitting stuff getting the info that we need. I mean how else would I know it closed? I mean, I guess if I walked up to it tomorrow morning an the door was locked and no one was in it…that might be a sign. But did you know that when store closes that no one answers the phone anymore? See I thought when you close a store you have to make one of your former employees live in the store for six weeks to answer the phone and say “We’re closed.”
How did they even get this breaking story when all the other outlets have totally missed it? Was it pure luck? Did one of their reporters get in line, order his tall no-foam whateverchino and say “I’ll see you tomorrow!” “No, you won’t we are closing…” replied the barista. “What!? Get out of my way! Where’s a pay phone! Hold the presses!” Or was this more of a “deep throat” situation [Editor’s Note: That’s what she said.] where a spooky meeting took place on the top level of a parking garage in the middle of the night.
We’ll likely never know. The only thing I know for sure is that we have at least one publication out there, working hard, digging deep, for the story that no one knows they needed to hear.
Thank you St. Louis Business Journal. Thank you.