Fellow St. Louisans, let us drop a senario on you and you tell us when you start to get worried: A Marine and wife were visiting family near St. Louis after recently coming back from a tour in Afghanistan (Eh, ok. Not too worried yet.) and while on their way to the airport to fly back to where he is stationed in Hawaii (Sounds nice!) they decided to stop in and visit the Arch (Hmm..it’s not as cool as it seems.)
They were early for their flight and and decided to visit the Arch, arriving there about noon. [Sgt. Ethan Stoeckel] said they parked in a lot along the river that charged $4 and had an attendant.
“We thought it would be all right,” he said.
When they returned, they found that the truck had been entered by prying the passenger-side door handle.
[M]issing, he said, were his medals and several items of mostly sentimental value that were irreplacable [sic].
Stoeckel’s best friend, Marine Cpl. Joseph Logan of Texas, was killed in action on Jan. 19. Among the items taken were a specially-made patch depicting Stoeckel and Logan and an old cell phone that contained a favorite photo of him and Logan. Also lost were numerous other photos stored in the couple’s computers.
Perfect. Now we’re stealing war medals and memorial patches of dead soliders. Babies of St. Louis, hide your candy! Orphans, prepare to be kicked in the dick! Nuns, prepare to be sucker-punched…oh wait, we do that one already.
Stoeckel said police took a list of the stolen items but said such break-ins were common and it was unlikely their property would be recovered.
“To top it all off, the Arch was lame as hell. There’s nothing all that interesting going on, that little elevator sucked and then you get all the way up there for what? Oh look a window! I can see our truck! …why is the door open?!” is what Stoeckel is no doubt thinking.
Lets hope this guy isn’t in charge of the remote bomb drones because he must want to turn St. Louis in to a smoking hole and we don’t blame him. If he is in charge of a drone, our only chance is he mistakenly flies over East St. Louis first and thinks “Oh I guess someone beat me too it…and I guess it’s true that prostitutes survive everything like cockroaches.”
Well no matter how you look at it, this is a crappy situation all around. If only someone would throw out a meaningless attempt that will do little more than make them look good and garner free advertisements in the local media!
The Stoeckels were surprised Saturday by a phone message from the owner of a St. Louis-area bookstore who said he would put up a $1,000 reward for return of their property. Sgt. Stoeckel said they had not had time to return the call.
David Tucker, owner of All About Love Christian Books and Gifts in Wentzville, is offering the reward for the return of the items, “no questions asked.”
Tucker said if the items are brought to his store – at 1165 Wentzville Parkway – the reward will be given.
I bet it won’t quite be “no questions asked”. “How did you find out about this? You can read?! and “Why did you drive all the way out to Wentzville?!?!” seemingly have to be part of any reward exchange conversation.