Quick! What’s the word floccinaucinihilipilification mean? …no clue? Don’t feel bad average St. Louisan! The guy reading over your shoulder in the Tigers hat is probably still working on the word “Q-u-i-c-k”
According to a new report, 47 percent of Detroiters are ”functionally illiterate.” The alarming new statistics were released by the Detroit Regional Workforce Fund on Wednesday.
“Not able to fill out basic forms, for getting a job — those types of basic everyday (things). Reading a prescription; what’s on the bottle, how many you should take… just your basic everyday tasks,” [Karen Tyler-Ruiz] said.
47 percent is a crazy high number, and truly sad for the city of Detroit…but also…and more importantly…sad for St. Louis, because the people of Detroit can’t simply read this post to easily find out how much better we are than them. Can’t anyone think of us for once?! Someone would have to take the computer from them and help them out, and it would probably be one of those things where the guy’s sounding out “kitty” for like 3 hours and you want him to get there eventually but you also have some stuff you gotta do, so you have to pull the “Ok…good…let me help you here.” and then he gets all retard angry with you. …oh and this is probably the same guy that installed the breaks in your American made car. Think about that!
You’re reading this right now, so you have all the skills you need to be a god in Detroit! Get over there, become mayor and you can preside over miles of busted buildings and packs of wild dogs…it’s like St. Louis, but with more dogs. Remember the trick when addressing your public: Spell out the bad stuff. Your mom did it to you and now we can all do it to Detroit.