[Ring! … Ring! … Ring!]
Scott Boras: Hello?
Rick Ankiel: Hey! How have you been?
SB: Uh, good. Who’s this?
RA: Ha! Yeah…so haven’t heard from you in a while.
SB: I know…I’ve been busy. Seriously, who is this?
RA: Rick! Rick Ankiel.
SB: Oh yeah! Sorry…you know…bad connection. How’s the old pitching arm kid?!
RA: Scott, remember? I’m an outfielder now.
SB: …oh yeah. Real shame about that.
RA: Yeah, so anyway…great job with Matt Holliday by the way.
SB: Thanks! We really came out great on that one. Really great deal. When you get to free agency, hopefully you can get a deal yourself.
RA: That’s the thing actually. I am a free agent.
SB: Oh. Call your agen…
RA: You are my agent!
SB: Oh.
RA: Think I can get back with the Cardinals?
SB: No, I think I already took their money…er…I mean with Holliday…
RA: Yeah…Yankees?
SB: Maybe I’ll give them a call…or…well…
RA: What?
SB: Piratesayswhat?
RA: What?!
SB: Great. You’ll love Pittsburgh. I hear the Steelers were good last year. …
RA: The Pirates?! Dude!
SB: Yup, turns out that was legally binding.
RA: But I hate Pittsburgh!
SB: Well seeing as how you rarely leave Spring Training, I don’t think that should be a problem.
[Click.]