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[Ring! ... Ring! ... Ring!]

Scott Boras: Hello?

Rick Ankiel: Hey!  How have you been?

SB: Uh, good.  Who’s this?

RA: Ha!  Yeah…so haven’t heard from you in a while.

SB: I know…I’ve been busy.  Seriously, who is this?

RA: Rick!  Rick Ankiel.

SB: Oh yeah!  Sorry…you know…bad connection.  How’s the old pitching arm kid?!

RA: Scott, remember?  I’m an outfielder now.

SB: …oh yeah. Real shame about that.

RA: Yeah, so anyway…great job with Matt Holliday by the way.

SB: Thanks! We really came out great on that one.  Really great deal.  When you get to free agency, hopefully you can get a deal yourself.

RA: That’s the thing actually.  I am a free agent.

SB: Oh.  Call your agen…

RA: You are my agent!

SB: Oh.

RA: Think I can get back with the Cardinals?

SB: No, I think I already took their money…er…I mean with Holliday…

RA: Yeah…Yankees?

SB: Maybe I’ll give them a call…or…well…

RA: What?

SB: Piratesayswhat?

RA: What?!

SB: Great. You’ll love Pittsburgh.  I hear the Steelers were good last year. …

RA: The Pirates?! Dude!

SB: Yup, turns out that was legally binding.

RA: But I hate Pittsburgh!

SB: Well seeing as how you rarely leave Spring Training, I don’t think that should be a problem.

[Click.]