The goal was to get this up on New Year’s Eve, but it didn’t happen as we were blessed with hang0ver-like symptoms a day early without having to work through all that “drinking”, “having fun” and “inappropriately touching girls at bars” stuff! Fun times.
List Notes: We’ve already posted the top 10 lists based on what you, the readers, like the most and so we made sure we didn’t duplicate anything from those lists. We love those posts too, but why talk about the same post three times? Also instead of doing the usual top 10 format, we thought we’d go at it a little differently this year because as much as people love “top 10” lists, they also seem to really get a kick out of fake awards given out to friends and advertisers. So here we are, giving out awards to the people we like the most: Us.
The best time we forced a local news station to remove their reporter’s overt bias from a story :
“KMOV Want’s You To Know They Don’t Believe This Story Either”
Horrible job KMOV. Time to tell the 12 year old “backpack reporter” to scoop up his colored pencils and hit the road.
Actually, hold on. Do those colored pencils have an alibi? We don’t recall the police mentioning them either, so by your logic they are clearly a prime suspect…especially that Brown one. White and Peach? You’re free to go.
The best “Wow, How Is This Always So Relevant?” story:
The best story that included a crazy mugshot:
“Guy Chokes Two Different Women at Hospital on Consecutive Days”
(Honorable Mention: “That’s One Ugly Mother Puncher”)
The best “What is Wrong With You?! Leave People Alone With Your Crazy Religious Shit!” story:
“Here’s a Horrible Idea: Lets Go Try to Convert Kids to our Religion Because We’re Assholes”
You think an Islamic family living in St. Louis can’t figure out where to find some information on Christianity? They’re only surrounded by churches, Christian neighbors, friends and co-workers, but no, you’re right. Lets swing by their kid’s school just to be safe.
The best story where were actually surprised by something someone did on the internet:
“Guy Records Himself Flushing Each Toilet In SLU’s Ritter Hall”
The best example of why local news coverage gets more vapid and retarded by the day:
“Once Again in the Absence of Anything to Talk About, Local News Points the Camera at Grass”
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Wait, don’t answer that! Right now, we need to know how stencils work because apparently you think your audience is comprised of people that never took a 2nd grade art class.
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The best “High School Bros Being High School Bros” Story:
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<a href="http://punchingkitty.com/2012/10/31/the-fort-zumwalt-east-junior-varsity-football-team-needs-to-take-a-moment-and-think-about-what-they-did/" target="_blank"></p>
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“The Fort Zumwalt East Junior Varsity Football Team Needs to Take a Moment and Think About What They Did”
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Oh man bros, you got that bro so hard! You sure showed that Special Ed. kid who’s boss, because you are the smart guys who talked a dude in to jacking off while you filmed it. Yup, pure genius. You win guys! Total high school legends!
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The best celebrating a departing police chief that pretty much sucked at his job story:
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<a href="http://punchingkitty.com/2012/10/02/goodbye-police-chief-dan-isom/" target="_blank">“Goodbye Police Chief Dan Isom”</p>
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The best week of gags devoted to the internet’s version of prop comedy:
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<em>[Editor’s Note: Yes, we said it. GIFs are the internet’s version of prop comedy. We’re not saying it’s bad, we do those gags too on occasion and Carrot Top makes a living at it, but lets just call a spade a spade ok?]</em>
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<a href="http://punchingkitty.com/2012/02/10/gif-week-a-look-back/" target="_blank">“GIF Week: A Look Back”</p>
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The most relevant flow chart to the greater St. Louis City population:
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<a href="http://punchingkitty.com/2012/01/06/flow-chart-friday-should-i-shoot-that-guy-over-there/" target="_blank">“Flow Chart Friday: Should I Shoot That Guy Over There?”</a>
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