It’s Friday and we’ve got no energy for a setup. Talk to us Mr. Blockquote!
A couple in Belleville had a little too much summer fun when they decided to swim completely naked in their neighbor’s pool.
The two were reportedly drunk at 11:30 a.m. when officers arrived in the 200 block of North Fourth Street.
Well well! Now we’re talking! A little day time drunken skinny dip? What’s wrong with that officer? Why does the man always have to bring us down? These people are just trying to have a good time! Maybe it’s a little illegal, maybe a kid caught a glipse, but lighten up! What did these probably super attractive people look like anyway?
Ah gross! Yeah…never mind. We forgot that this is totally illegal. Chicks with 80s hair and dudes that have two-part mustaches are definitely not allowed to skinny dip, or actually be naked ever anywhere, even in Illinois. Take them away officer!
Time to break in to the “people we actually want to think about skinny dipping” file:
Ah, better. We love you Kate Beckinsale. We just wish you’d start returning our calls because if you want the money from this sex tape of ours, we’ll need your signature! (Our lawyer said you should sign since you’re considered the legal guardian of the bush outside your bedroom window.)