Elijah Wisniewski was rescued from a burning home Thursday after a police officer saw the flames and ran in to the home to save him. Quite a feel good story huh? Nothing like a cop coming the rescue of a man in trouble! …and if this happened anywhere other than the St. Louis area, the story probably would have ended right there, but instead this happened:
The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that 31-year-old Elijah Wisniewski of Winfield was charged Monday. He is jailed on $50,000 cash-only bond.
Wisniewski was rescued Thursday after a Winfield officer saw flames coming from the home. At about the same time of the rescue, a woman called police to say she had been sexually assaulted by Wisniewski inside the home.
So the guy that got saved was actually attacking a woman that got saved because the house caught on fire? We can’t shake the feeling that this story is just one mangy dog and a meth-addicted baby away from being the perfect white trash moment. You move the scene to a trailer, and have the baby smoking and he’s the one that started the fire, you know because baby’s are horrible about not correctly putting out their cigarette butts, and it’s double perfect. Ugh. Now we’re bored with the actual story because we cranked up the trash level, so lets all just agree to add that stuff we just made up going forward? Ooh, lets also have Bruce Willis be the voice of the baby’s thoughts when you retell it, and we can describe Elijah to look like the guy that played “The Sherminator” in American Pie because it would be funny, and he hasn’t had much work lately so it could give him a boost.