According to a study done by University of Missouri, the fatter your kid is, the crappier they are at math.
2 + 2 = “Do we have chips still?”
“The findings illustrate the complex relationships among children’s weight, social and emotional well-being, academics and time,” said Sara Gable, associate professor in the MU Department of Nutrition and Exercise Physiology, who led the study.
The study followed over six thousand kids from kindergarten to fifth grade, getting info from their families, school, physicals and tests along the way. The results show that the earlier the kids got fatter, the worse they were with math, social skills, the ability to quickly put on a pair of pants, and they developed a strong predilection to keeping their t-shirt on while swimming.
“Our study suggests that childhood obesity, especially obesity that persists throughout the elementary grades, can harm children’s social and emotional well-being and academic performance,” Gable said.
Is this really all that surprising? The only thing about them that seemingly does know math is their chin, as it usually seems to be multiplying like crazy, while every other part of them avoids numbers like they’re brocoli. The scale, calories, the ratio of stuffed animal friends to actual friends…you’d hate math too if these were the calculations you had to deal with on a daily basis.
It’s probably fine though since big people just seem to live on a different mathematical plane anyway where knees have dimples and somehow this is true: 4 breakfast twinkles + (McDonalds * Super Size) + (high school – prom)= grouchy guy at work who wears jean shorts every day, even during the winter