Early Sunday morning state police raided three East St. Louis nightclubs to look for crimes and because they wanted to grab a beer so going all at once with bullet-proof vests and guns drawn seemed like the safest way to go.
According to search warrants, investigators were looking for illegal drugs, weapons and other evidence of wrongdoing at three East St. Louis clubs: Posh, Club 103 and Club Rolex.
They actually had to go get a search warrant to search an East St. Louis club on a Saturday night?! What a waste of time. We figured at this point Illinois just gave each cop a “warrant pad” which had the basic structure with required blanks to fill in ala “Mad Libs”.
Sources say officers found “numerous” bags of what appeared to be marijuana inside the club.
That’s all?! You must have found something else. It’s impossible to only find a bunch of weed in an East St. Louis club on a Saturday night. Did you check the bathrooms? Perps love to do horrible things in the bathrooms and if you just looked under the stall doors, they might have been standing on the toilet. If you really can’t find anything else, then just turn the club lights back on and hide behind the bar…in five minutes tops you’ll have some underage hooker try to buy blow from the bartender with a waded up wet $10 spot and a handjob offer. Seriously, officers, this is East St. Louis! That’s how people pay for things! That, or they just shoot you, and either play is a crime, so don’t tell us all you found was some bags of weed. You gotta find something else of people are going to think you’re raid was retarded. Even if you can’t find anything in the club, then just go raid something else to look at least a little tough.
In response to evidence obtained by police, the city also suspended the liquor licenses of three East St. Louis Crown Food Mart stores.
There you go!
Now go smoke some of that weed from the evidence room before the mayor gets there. You’ve earned it!!