I don’t want to shock you, but we hear that a store selling “adult-themed” products is being harassed in the town of Pevely, Missouri. Who would have thought a small Missouri town, just south of St. Louis, would be unwelcoming of a sexy store selling lingerie, lubricants and “other marital aides”?! Shocked. We’re shocked. Also did you hear about that old asian guy driving slowly down 40 the other day? Since when are old asian guys not burning up the roads? Everything is shocking!!
Technically though the folks of Pevely aren’t really mad that the store, Pure Pleasure Boutique, exists, just where it should be.
At issue is whether Pure Pleasure falls into the category of an “adult” business. City leaders have long argued that Pure Pleasure Boutique meets the criteria, based on the types of products sold.
Don Kleinhans, the owner of Pure Pleasure Boutique, maintains his store does not qualify as an adult business. Pure Pleasure Boutique, he said, does not sell pornographic videos or sex toys.
That’s right! Nothing “adult” per se…just sexy, and sometimes edible clothing, along with gel you can rub on your lady parts. …things you can find in your average Disney Store no doubt.
Clearly someone in Pevely has a dry sniz though, since Pure Pleasure has remained open despite being denied a business license and repeatedly being fined.
Kimberly Richardet of Festus said the store needs to re-locate.
“I’m not saying that goes into a store like that has dirty issues, things like that. But it’s going to bring in a different class of people that this town is accustomed to,” she said.
Well la-dee-da Kim with her fancy “internet” access where she can buy the stuff to get her cha-cha going, but some people need a local option Kim! Some people need lube and fuzzy handcuffs right now! This is America dammit, and no matter how small your town is, every one of us is now a freak that needs weird stuff to get off! Now pass us that inflatable sheep and excuse us…we’ll be right back.