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Harry Pujols…or phonetically…Harry Poo-holes.

Seriously.

Here’s a photo:

Confirmed from a good source that is this in fact our very own Albert’s cousin.

Now that we’ve settled that its true, there’s the matter of why the hell anyone with the last name of Pujols would go by Harry. Hank…Harrison…Skippy…Lorenzo…Albertsmycousingivemethings?! All of those would go much better in front of Pujols than Harry.

We know what you are thinking: Use your middle name! Sadly we’ve found out that Harry’s middle name is Fingermy. So maybe stick with Harry after all.