KMOV Reporter Watches Grass Grow in O’Fallon
Posted on June 6, 2012
| The Editor
KMOV’s Brian Feldman, digging deep:
The current ordinance says on lots less than two acres, grass cannot exceed eight inches. But on some commercial lots, it may be getting longer than that.
The city council of O’Fallon is going to take a look at making the restrictions much tighter.
In our mind’s eye, Feldman did this interview while wearing one of those little brown fedoras with a press pass tucked in to the band while scribbling away on a little note pad.
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Larry Rice Isn’t Going to Tell You Where He’s Planning on Stashing the Homeless
Posted on May 24, 2012
| The Editor
Larry Rice really likes it when all the homeless are in one place. He supported the now defunct “Hopeville” homeless camp, and just last week his new “Integrity Village” was quickly shut down by the city. Where will Larry try to herd homeless people to next? Ha, nice try! He’s not telling anyone this time!
“We’re taking this underground,” [Larry’s son Chris] Rice said, “We’re not going to tell you where we’re taking it.
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The Rush Limbaugh Bust in Jeff City Has It’s Own 24-Hour Surveillance Camera
Posted on May 23, 2012
| The Editor
Maybe you didn’t hear, but they actually did end up putting that Rush Limbaugh bust in the state capitol’s “Hall of Statues of Famous Missourians No One Comes to Visit Ever”. It was unveiled in a private, pretty much all Republican unveiling and it turns out it wasn’t just installed because his head was the perfect size to hide the button to open the secret entrance of the Batcave.
This was all huge news of course with all kind of people pissed off, but we just couldn’t get ourselves to give much of a crap with all the other real problems happening like crime, war, actual politics and that the my mailman is clearly throwing away all of the letters that Robin from “How I Met Your Mother” is sending me in reply to the lovely poems I send her attached with the week’s toenail clippings.
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St. Louis to Offer Parking Ticket Amnesty
Posted on May 9, 2012
| The Editor
This weekend, all unpaid St. Louis City parking tickets can be cleared by just paying the original ticket price, dropping all overdue fines that can reach as high as 300% per ticket.
“We’ve giving everyone an opportunity to wipe the slate clean,” Andres Broussard of the City Treasurer’s office said.
Drivers interested in the Amnesty program can come to the America’s Center May 11-12, or the Community Needs Expo. The hours are 9 a.
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Missouri Representative Zach Wyatt Comes Out to Fight Anti-Gay Bill
Posted on May 3, 2012
| The Editor
Today, during a press conference in which he read a prepared statement to a small group, Missouri Representative Zach Wyatt, a Republican, publicly came out while opposing the “Don’t Say Gay Bill“. This news is a bit of a surprise as Wyatt now stands as the lone gay Republican currently in office, but it’s no surprise to anyone that had visited Wyatt’s Wikipedia page:
An orange dress shirt? No straight man would dare buy or wear that unless it was in puffy hunting vest form.
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Missouri Wants to Ban “Gay” Talk From Schools
Posted on April 25, 2012
| The Editor
Oh Missouri state lawmakers do try hard to make us all look like backwater retards don’t they?
A bill currently up for debate in the Missouri House of Representatives would prohibit teachers in public schools from discussing sexual orientation.
The “Don’t Say Gay” legislation is sponsored by several Republicans who contend there is no place of discussion about sexual orientation in public schools.
Is this needed? Was there really all that much talk of sexual orientation in the first place?
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Newt Gingrich Was Bitten By a St. Louis Zoo Penguin
Posted on April 17, 2012
| The Editor
Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House and who’s current hobbies include pretending to still be involved in presidential candidate races was in St. Louis last weekend and, as reported on Twitter yesterday via several animal-based puns, was nipped by a penguin while visiting the St. Louis Zoo.
During his visit to the popular zoo in Forest Park, he was treated to a behind-the-scenes visit with two Magellanic penguins. One of them nipped Gingrich on the finger.
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Missouri Might Allow Advertisements on School Buses
Posted on April 16, 2012
| The Editor
The Missouri State Senate is mulling a bill that if passed, would allow various state school districts to sell advertisement space on school busses, because “Well we see it on NASCAR races!” is a great reason to do all kinds of stuff and has never lead to any safety concerns or issues what so ever.
Rep. Mike Kelley, R-Lamar, said many districts need the money after several years of tight budgets.
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State Politician Wants to Make Gas Stations Notify You About Price Hikes
Posted on April 5, 2012
| The Editor
If you just read all the stupid crap the Missouri State government spends their time fighting over (Rush Limbaugh, Presidential ID checks, etc…) you’d think Missouri must be totally bitchin’ to live in. If their government is killing time with that crap, it’s gotta be all free banana splits and blow jobs over there right?
Nah. It’s just that we elected morons.
A Missouri lawmaker says we all should get a heads-up when there’s a price hike at the gas pump.
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Missouri Half Way To Being Annoying Obviously Racist State Who Protends Not To Be
Posted on March 29, 2012
| The Editor
The Missouri House passed what has been called the “birther” bill, in which candidates for president or vice president would have to prove their U.S. citizenship in order to be put on the Missouri State’s ballot, inching us all one step closer to future laws such as the “Presidential hopefuls shall measure their dicks (from the balls, not the base!) for the State of Missouri and if he is larger than the average elected official, he will be denied a spot on the ballot!
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