It’s prom time, and high school girls all over the area are kneeling down only to be smacked in the face with some balls, but for one Festus girl, it wasn’t a euphemism this time:
Authorities said the 17-year-old girl threw the shot put and then went to retrieve it. Before she got completely out of the way, the next girl threw her shot.
The shot struck the girl on the side of the head. She was alert and conscious at the scene.
In an odd twist, the blow to the head appears to have made the girl the only other person in the St. Louis area that thinks the Cardinals should keep Ryan Franklin as their closer. If she shows any further signs of severe brain damage, we believe that she will be required, by law, the move to Illinois and then get in front of us on the highway and start to change lanes three different times before breaking and heading back over to the original lane, only to miss her turn and decide that slamming on her brakes is the best course of action. We’d flip he off, but she won’t notice. She’s really busy with her phone conversation and manually rolling down the driver side window of her Ford Probe so she can flick her cigarette out of her car.