Attention St. Louis:
The two local news organizations (who also run the news on the other two stations), would like to use this Tuesday night as a “do over” night. See the extra snow kinda took everyone by surprise, including our local news folks and they really really really feel horrible about not getting to spend a whole night going on and on about all the snow and how it will change everything.
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The New Tornado Warnings Are Here and They Are Gonna Scare the Crap Out of You!
While it’s been well known to everyone for some time is that people, in general, ignore tornado warning sirens. They go off and people don’t listen, can’t hear them or just wish they’d stop so that they can continue their mugging without interruption. Weather people just found out though, and so as of today they are introducing a new warning system that they think will make people realize when a tornado is small, or a tornado is of Joplin-destroying magnitude.
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Crazy Guy Claims the Arch Can Control the Weather
I think we all can agree the St. Louis’ monument the Gateway Arch certainly has some special powers. For example it’s pretty clear that thing is some how a super magnet for attracting street crime, crappy hockey goalies and cheesy tourist calendar photographers, but maybe there’s something else going on there…
The St. Louis Arch, a 636 ft. monument on the west bank of the Mississippi River, has stood for nearly forty years.
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Five Things You Just Can’t Do When It’s This Damn Hot
It’s hot as hell, and we know it’s the cheesiest thing you could do this time of the year, but we got a egg and we tried to fry it on the forehead of a homeless guy. It didn’t really work. The edges kind of cooked a little but the middle didn’t get too far along. It could have used more time but homeless guy got all mad about it. All we’re saying is that it could have easily been poop on your head, so if you look at it that way, egg isn’t so bad.
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Fulton Tornado Alarm Snoozed For One Full Day
In a tornado season where more old junk has been blown than at a Red 7’s Swingers Night, the Fulton emergency weather alarm decided that it didn’t want to ruin anyone’s Wednesday with a warning siren, so it held off until Thursday. There were no storms Thursday mind you, so in essence it was a “If you’re hearing this, you survived!” alarm. We don’t have any hard numbers, but it seems more celebratory, while somewhat less effective.
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KPLR News: People Slip More When There’s Ice Than When There Isn’t Ice
It seems like forever ago with local news channel Fox2 (KTVI) swallowed channel 11 (KTVI)’s station and news department. We remember wondering: “If both stations are still going to do news, how will they break it up so they aren’t competing against themselves?” Apparently the deal was Fox2 will deal with actual news and 11 will take these two stick, try not to poke their eye out and see what they can come up with.
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Local News Confirms Their Weather Delusion to Gail Pennington
A lot of you wrote in to us with the same sentiment: “Do we really need around the clock local news coverage about the ‘storm of the century’”? Apparently the general St. Louis audience, or at least our readers, thought that if they had to be stuck at home, then they could at least watch some TV. Ha! Nice try St. Louis, but local news won’t let that happen. Not on their watch.
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We’re All Going to Die: “Historic” Winter Storm is Coming
It’s all over people! The Snowpolocypse is upon us! Go to Home Depot and get some road salt even though you’ve never used it before! Go kick an old lady in her flappy neck to get that last can of green beans. It’s time to get serious people! Snow! Ice! Ahhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
KMOV (Channel 4):
This could be one of those devastating storms when you have power outages and snow over a foot.
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Finding Things in the Weather Radar is Fun
It’s about the time of year when everyone in St. Louis pretends we are actually in New Mexico and begins to freak out about any nominal snow fall. “Oh no! Snow is coming! Who would have predicted 3 inches of snow in January?!” It’s even worse after the whole New Year’s Eve deal, which turned the St. Louis area population in to a bunch of cave people (ok, some of them were pretty close already) scared of anything with the word “storm” in it as though the weather gods are out to get us.
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It’s Really Hot in St. Louis…Here’s How Hot
Editor’s Note: Here’s another great bit from guest contributor Lance (see his previous work here) If you have any interest in guest authoring a post here, drop me a line at [email protected]
It’s hot in St. Louis. Real hot. How hot? It’s so hot that:
Forest Park has been renamed Savannah Park
Talk 97.1 is airing a special on the dangers of Global Warming
The Penguin & Puffin Coast attraction at the zoo is now a fried chicken stand
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