Hammer Time at Buckingham Place With Patrick Sweeney

We like to take digs at St. Charles county on here from time to time but one thing we have really grown to love about St. Chuck are the street names out there. Every name is so wistful with a hint of lame. Looking at a map is like flipping through a paint color sample booklet: Willow Road, Morningside Drive, Lindy’s Landing, Motherhead Road…there are so many new roads popping up out there it’s clear people stopped giving a shit about how dumb the name is a long time ago, if anyone can think of anything not taken in a 15 mile radius they print up a street sign. [Read More]

I Call That My “Putter”: Molester Apartment Putt Putt Course Adjacent

A St. Charles mother was searching through the state’s sex registered sex offender list, something we are apt to do as well from time to time, and found that one lived in a near by apartment complex…and then she found one more…in that same apartment complex…and another and a bunch more after that actually. All told, 17 convicted sex offenders live in that same complex in St. Charles. The sheriff’s department admits that’s an unusually high number. [Read More]

Shooting Your Gun At City Hall Isn’t a Good Idea

Are we an angrier populous these days or are guns just that much easier to come across? Sunday morning, in the parking garage of none other than the freaking City Hall of St. Charles, Melissa Pontius (right) got in a little argument with a few other people that were for some reason hanging out at the St. Charles City Hall at 1:30am on a Saturday night. Well, as the story goes, Melissa had just about enough, so did she go off and make fun of her opponents on her blog like all other right-thinking Americans? [Read More]

The American Ninja Lives in St. Charles. Please Don’t Touch His Wood.

Wanna take scrap wood out of dumpsters in St. Charles? You’re call, but if you do, be prepared to tangle with the ninja of Sun Lake Drive: 41 year old Scott Schwartz. St. Charles Police Lt. Mike Akers said two men were searching for scrap wood inside a dumpster in the Sun Valley Lake apartment complex about 9 p.m. Thursday. Akers said the men told police they had been given permission to search the dumpster. [Read More]

18 Year Old Girls Ratchet Up the Hurt on Computer Nerds, Crash Car Through Computer Store

When will the hatred stop? What did these harmless little nocturnal creatures ever do to you? They just want to love you…is that so much to ask? Please leave computer nerds alone 18 year old girls. Laughing when they ask you to the prom is plenty of pain. There’s no need to start crashing your cars through the front windows of computer repair stores! Police said a vehicle smashed into Tony’s Computer Shop in the 1200 block of South Duchesne at about 2:30 p. [Read More]

St. Charles County’s Last Dance with Mary Jane

St. Charles County voters voted down not one but two medial marijuana proposals even after Cottleville, MO mayor Don Yarber pushed for the bills because of his own wife’s success with medial marijuana. Apparently St. Chuck voters think Mrs Yarber is nothing more than a pothead. At least that’s the clear sentiment from one voter interview after leaving the polls by KSDK: Ladonna Johnson, said she voted “no” on the initiative, saying there are better ways to solve medical problems than with marijuana. [Read More]

St. Charles County Workers Banned From Texting, Apparently Using Honor System

Counties passing laws that ban texting while driving are the Lady Gaga of lower-level governments. Everyone seems to love them because they sound good, but when you get up close and really think about it, its kinda stupid and ugly. Also, those weird outfits just seem like a whole “Hey look at me with my crazy outfits that always hide my face like the Phantom of the Opera because I’m ugly and pay no attention to those rumors about me having a little penis. [Read More]

K2 is Banned and KMOV Figures Out Capitalism

Its all over the blogs. That fake weed K2 has been banned in St. Charles apparently because for a second there, a child enjoyed himself in St. Charles and that crap just can’t keep happening. Besides the fact that the poor emo kids that are too pussy to buy real weed are now really sad and won’t stop watching their Twilight DVD, something else amazing happened! Channel 4, KMOV, learned a little bit about how America works. [Read More]

This Week in Duh: Living in St. Louis City is Unhealthy

Guess what?! Another study came out saying that living in St. Louis city proper is a death wish! Residents of St. Charles County have the best opportunities in Missouri to be healthy, while people who live in St. Louis city have the worst, according to a new report. To compile the report, researchers looked at data from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Environmental Protection Agency, the FBI, the U. [Read More]

Come Buy Some Random Crap From St. Charles This Weekend!

Dude! Oh man, what’s up?! Don’t you recognize me?! It’s St. Charles man! Your boy St. Chuck! …look, I’ve got a problem man. Could I get a few bucks from you? No no no no! Its not like that. Its just…man…times are tough dude and I…I just need a little cash right now to get me through. Ok ok. Its not charity man! I’m selling some stuff! …um look, here’s a list. [Read More]