Each year we like to scour YouTube and find the best uploads of drunkenness because we know you kids love the social media these days (“social media” is a fancy term for sexting and comparing who go the most wasted without having to be in the same room. We live in the future!).

#5 – Guy Falls During Parade (by mdfoley75)

We’re guessing that this guy wasn’t even drunk, which is why it’s at #5…but we’re totally sure it’s funny, so it made the list.

On Friday we spread the link of our two year old pre-Mardi Gras coverage entitled: “Dos and Don’ts for you Mardi Gras Weekend” It’s a classic, which is kinda why we stopped covering Mardi Gras, but this year we slipped up. While we thought somethings were obvious, we should have added a new “Don’t”. Specifically: “Don’t: Point Your Gun at Police Officers.”

“I was never scared, but I was just shocked that I had just seen that, with as many shots and as much blood as there was,” he said. “At that time of day in that part of Soulard in the middle of Mardi Gras, that was the last thing I thought I was going to see.”

[Read More]

It’s the day after a Mardi Gras weekend, and in accordance with our time-honored tradition (see last year’s: “The Best Of Mardi Gras Videos“) we bring you the best of what the drunks uploaded to You Tube:

_[Editor’s Note: Unless there’s something we missed, none of the below videos have any nudity, but some do have cussing and weird stuff. It’s not really NSFW, but use headphones and make sure “creepy Steve” from Finance isn’t looking over your shoulder (again).] _

Last year we did our own Mardi Gras “Dos and Don’ts” but we decided to not do it again this year because that last one is still 100% relevant. You could even say “timeless”. Yeah, lets say timeless. It was timeless. Here’s the link again: “Dos and Don’ts For Your Mardi Gras Weekend“

We did however notice that STLToday posted a quick, less boob-focused version this year and we thought that we should run through it real quick to provide some of our expert guidance to our big broke fat media neighbor.

Our post yesterday about the best of YouTube’s drunken Mardi Gras offerings has brought some new challengers to our original list.

We’d be remiss if we didn’t also bring some attention to the following runners up:

Preppy Guy Does the Drunken Version of the History of Dance

Girls Stumble Around Like Drunken Retards and End Up With 100,000 Views on YouTube, Easily Enough for It to Make It To Their Bosses Inbox

Mardi Gras weekend is in the books for another year, and whether you abstained from this year festivities or partook, but don’t remember, it’s ok, because cell phones and YouTube are here to help! Here a few of our favorite YouTube uploads from Mardi Gras weekend:

#3: The classic drunk girl that “needs” to get to a far away bar with her passed out friend

Don’t give them a ride! One, you know that passed out friend will puke the minute her ass hits your back seat and two, she “needs” to go to that bar to meet a guy…it’s always a guy…so that theory you’re working with right now where she gets there and is so grateful she touches your wiener, will not happen. We repeat: It will not happen.

Mardi Gras is upon us, but that’s especially true for the fine residents of Soulard who enjoy the often repeated pleasure of “Dude! You can just get wasted and walk back home!” …but alas, they also have to look at the invading drunken hoards for an entire weekend, and lets face it, some are better to look at than others. Ok, lets really face it: Some of ya’ll are gross. It’s ok though! We’re here to help with…

The Shanti, will be handing out “condom beads” during this weekend’s Mardi Gras festivities. Why? Because you’re all skanky.

[Teresa Parker, owner,] said she decided to participate in handing out the beads because she wants to promote safe sex and thought it was a good theme with the adult band, Digger’s Lounge, playing this weekend.

The condom wrapper says “Catch these not STDs” and includes a phone number for testing.

[Read More]

Over the past eight months, the Post-Dispatch has revealed controversial ties between the police department and St. Louis Metropolitan Towing: perks given to the police chief’s daughter, questionable tactics used to gouge vehicle owners and hundreds of thousands of dollars the company kept from taxpayers.

But the relationship proved most lucrative during one day each year: Mardi Gras’ major parade day.

That was from the article in the Post Dispatch about the apparently many-layered scheme that originated from recently ousted Police Chief Joe “I keep looking dirtier every day” Mokwa.

The RFT’s STLog has the list of fineable situations put out by Mardi Gras Inc.  Some of the highlights: 

• Music too loud or in disabonmernt……….$250
• Unapproved throws………………………….$100
• Lewd behavior / Nudity……………………..$250

So no boobies at Mardi Gras.  Sounds like fun. Of course the interesting thing is that this is not a list from the STL PD, this is from Mardi Gras Inc.  so I’m interested to see how this goes down when a fine needs to be dealt.