The Powell Square Building Will Be Coming Down…On Purpose!

 Posted on January 4, 2013  |  The Editor

You know which one the Powell Square Building is right? No? It’s the one downtown that looks like the remains of a building that was eaten and shit out from the other side of a zombie apocalypse. Well it’s finally going to be demolished. It shouldn’t be hard to take down though since at this point we’re pretty sure the walls are gone and it’s being held up by graffiti and stacks of homeless guy coats. [Read More]
building  demolish  downtown 

Guy Shoots Himself in the Leg During Traffic Stop

 Posted on October 10, 2012  |  The Editor

St. Louis’ finest attempted to pull over a car for a routine traffic stop last night just south of downtown. The car pulled over, then took off and police gave chase. Shortly after they heard gunfire and a stand-off started. Little did the cops know he wasn’t shooting at them, he’s just a retard and shot himself. After a standoff that lasted about ten minutes, police took the driver out of the vehicle and discovered he had shot himself in the upper leg, either accidentally or on purpose. [Read More]
car  downtown  shooting  south city 

St. Louis Started a Washington Avenue Curfew

 Posted on June 18, 2012  |  The Editor

Friday was the first night with the new 10p – 4a Washington Avenue curfew for any one under 21 and none of the clubs were shot up last weekend (but at this point, who can tell?), so it’s going pretty well so far. St. Louis police turned to a “festival” permit to give them authority to bar anyone under age 21 from the entertainment district along Washington Avenue after 10 pm on Friday and Saturday this weekend. [Read More]
downtown  washington ave 

A Bunch of Snakes Were Stolen From the Aquarium in the City Museum

 Posted on June 14, 2012  |  The Editor

St. Louis will never run out of things we want to steal. This time it was snakes from the World Aquarium located inside downtown’s City Museum: One six foot long Boa Constrictor, one five foot long California Kingsnake, a four and a half foot long Dumeril’s Boa and a two foot long Ball Python. 17.5 feet of total snake, at an estimated worth of over 10 thousand bucks! “I think they knew these were high valued animals and they could take these animals and market these animals,” said World Aquarium President Leonard Sonnenschein. [Read More]
city museum  downtown  theft 

No One in St. Louis Bothered to Pick Up that Dead Crazy Downtown Deer From Friday

 Posted on June 5, 2012  |  The Editor

Everyone was all a-Twitter on Friday because of the news that a runaway deer was going crazy downtown, smashing in to buildings and then dying, appropriately enough, on Memorial Drive. It turns out that the deer came in to the city from his West County home, and then quickly became frustrated with the traffic and parking, before getting mugged and then freaked out when the random guard at the Metrolink entrance wouldn’t let him down the stairs because he didn’t have a ticket. [Read More]
deer  downtown 

Some Guy Got Shot in the Face While Leaving His Apartment

 Posted on June 4, 2012  |  The Editor

St. Louis’ totally uncool obsession with shooting people in the face continued over the weekend when a man was shot (in the face) while leaving his downtown apartment. Officials say the victim was driving outside the Mansion House Apartments off Memorial Drive just after 3 p.m. when two suspects walked up to his SUV and shot him. Dude. We really don’t want or need to get in to the long history of people getting shot in the face in our city, or why that’s just not civilized. [Read More]
downtown  face shot  shooting 

Horse Outsmarts Downtown Carriage Jacker

 Posted on May 10, 2012  |  The Editor

One of those horse-drawn carriages was jacked Tuesday night by a cane wielding assailant who apparently found no cars worthy of stealing or more likely, as this took place downtown, there might not have been any cars left that hadn’t already been broken in to. The St. Louis Carriage Company driver Larry Turner said he was steering his horse, Harry, back to the company’s stables about 8:25 p.m. toward the end of his shift. [Read More]
assault  carriage  downtown  theft 

The New Arch Grounds Plan Reminds Us of Something Dirty

 Posted on January 27, 2012  |  The Editor

The plans for the new Arch grounds are starting to take shape by the releasing of design photos, and explanations about how the new work will change the downtown layout. NextSTL has it covered: Not a single local media story, not KSDK, not St. Louis Public Radio, not the Post-Dispatch, not the Beacon, no one included the detail that if the presented plan comes to fruition that Pine Street will no longer connect the city with the Arch grounds. [Read More]
arch grounds  downtown  vagina 

Have You Heard the One Where the Occupiers Met With the Mayor’s Staff?

 Posted on November 9, 2011  |  The Editor

So Mayor Slay’s staff walk in to a room in the Edward Jones Dome with a few people from the Occupy St. Louis movement currently inhabiting downtown… Stop us if you’ve heard this one. The initial debate was between the Mayor’s Chief of Staff Jeff Rainford, and a guy that only went by “Chuck”…naturally. “We ask that you condemn the police violence in Oakland and retract any threats or insinuations of violence against us and the accusation that we are inciting violence,” Chuck said. [Read More]
downtown  mayor slay  occupy stl 

The Cabbies Respond to Us Making Fun of Them

 Posted on November 7, 2011  |  The Editor

Last week we took some shots at the local cabbies for “whining” about a convention using other transportation rather than cabs. “What do you mean non-cab drivers have figured out how to get their own cars?! Oh no! Someone, quick, talk to the press and make sure they photograph you in the creepiest way possible!” As with every post we do, it was a joke and all the real details are gleaned form the source material, which in this case was KMOX. [Read More]
cab  convention  downtown