PUNCHING KITTY

Punching Kitty? …on MySpace? No sir. Not us. Never.

…but yet, here we are…kinda…not really…

Punching Kitty?! This kid is Punching Kitty? Lets take a closer look:

I would like to think we would have more friends and comments if this was really us.  In fact, this is the part where our heart goes from a little piece of coal to a big giant hart that breaks through the magnifying box…we should hook this kid up! Anyone still have a MySpace account? Yes you do. If you don’t use any more, that’s even better! Go on there one last time and add this kid as your friend! Leave a comment!

Mr. Dana Loesch, aka Chris Loesch, a frequent, but pseudonymed, commenter on all posts concerning Dana on this very site, has quite a reputation around town of appearing like Beetlejuice when someone mentions his wife’s name three times. No, it doesn’t matter if they are “attacking” her or just reporting, he still appears.

The most recent sighting was the Riverfront Times where…well, I’ll let RFT reporter Chad Garrison tell you:

Remember last week’s post about the rapper getting bitch slapped while trying to lay his thang down? (“St. Louis Rapper Slapped Mid-Freestyle“) Well here’s a little YouTube follow up commentary from MissLaurenB18

Take aways from your one-on-one with Miss Lauren:

1. She doesn’t want to get hit in the jaw because she was licking ice cream.

2. It was random.

3. Dude was ignorant.

4. She’s “not even white”.

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What?! It happens!  Sometimes people move to the city.  Maybe they are athletes or maybe they just want to fill their Foursquare feed with more hipster places…either way, it happens.

Here are some tips from Punching Kitty skewed towards people from the area that are moving to the city. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

10. If you called it Missou-rah, that’s fine. Stop now though.

9. We’d like to say “Get rid of your truck.” but we can’t. Lots of people have them, though we aren’t sure why.

8. If you’re from out west, this is a black guy:

They’re cool, so you be too.

7. Hey, nice trendy neighborhood! …Guess what though, 6 months ago an old lady was shot so someone could steal her food stamps 2 blocks away from your fancy place. No matter how many tapas restaurants you have in walking distance, it all St. Louis. You want to be an uppity little bitch about your neighborhood? Move to Ladue. Otherwise, don’t compare neighborhoods you don’t know about. City veterans hate that.

6. Cardinal games are great when the “trip” home is all of 10 minutes max.

5. You want to eat a restaurant? Tons of options. You want to go to a grocery store? Your options are too ghetto or too fancy. The county still has us beat on this one.

4. This is an example of two dudes kissing. It doesn’t happen all the time, but if you wander by Manchester & Sarah on a Saturday night, we don’t want you to be surprised.

Again, they’re cool, so you be too.

Click through the jump to read the top 3!

Former Cardinal catcher and still crowd favorite Mike Matheny is catching something else these days: Heat from a lawsuit filed against him and a few others by the Business Bank of St. Louis. … Did you see what I did there with saying he was a catcher and then saying he was catching things still, but then at the last second I was all like “Nope, not a baseball like you thought. He’s catching a ‘heat’!” …which you didn’t seem coming. That my friends is the art writing. Awesome awesome writing.

We saw a really crazy flick that started out just like this…

More than 10,000 Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority members will be in St. Louis this week for a weeklong convention.

Blah blah blah…honoring people…blah blah blah keep our clothes on. Whatever stuffy press release! …what if we had you this beer bong and pour Apple Pucker on you like this…?

Oh we’ll give you a one size too small white “Punching Kitty” t-shirt too.

So no Home Run Derby title for our own Matt Holliday but all is not lost. He wasn’t one of those losers to get nothing over the wall…and he got more than one (well played Chris”Why Am  I Here?” Young). In Matty H. just missed the cut to the next round by 2 jacks. Despite his early exit, at least Holliday can hang is hat on having the single longest bomb of the night at 497 feet.

Some random site that reported that Mars (the candy company) said that St. Louis is the 6th manliest city, so it must be true. Web sites just don’t make things up for links you know?! …also did we mention that there is a secret Air Force base under the Edward Jones Done? The entrance is in the gift shop where no one would think to look.

Via the “Top 50 Manliest Cities” study, COMBOS® – the hearty, pretzel and cracker snack made with real cheese – examines what makes a city manly and ranks 50 major metropolitan areas using criteria such as number of professional sports teams, popularity of power tools and frequency of monster truck rallies. Cities also lose ranking points for emasculating characteristics like the abundance of home furnishing stores, high minivan sales and subscription rates to beauty magazines.

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Everyone knows those Dirt Cheap ads with that dumb Chicken jumping around. What you didn’t know is that Dirt Cheap has spent upwards of _$9._2 Million dollars in advertising between 1993 – 2009!

That little detail was a nugget of WTF information embedded in the court documents about the trademark lawsuit between Dirt Cheap and competitor Cheap Cheap.

Dirt Cheap, a chain of 12 St. Louis-area discount liquor and cigarette stores, filed a suit this week in federal court in St. Louis against the owners of stores called “Cheap Cheap,” alleging trademark infringement.

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OMG! Kurt Warner iz such a gr8 writer. Hs prose jst sEm 2 croS boundaries. LOL. JK. IDK. wutevA.

Here’s some examples:

Anybody out there no where my IPAD is? Bec, of the 8ppl in this house, of corse no 1 has seen it or played w it all day! Must b my imposter! #

Drove past car w/ sticker “boobs r power”, my life suddenly started 2 make sense & y I have always felt powerless! Darn it! #

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