Most Popular on Facebook
- Betting on the favourites to win the NHL season
October 25, 2013
- Betting on the favourites to win the NHL season
Editor's Note: Make sure you play this video in the background while you read this.
Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously...and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way.
We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive. To the right are some of our favorite and most acclaimed articles from our four year run. You may also enjoy "This Day in PK History" which shows the posts written on this date in years past, and this page which shows a random article from the archives.
- The Editor
According to St. Louis County Police reports, two armed men broke in to the home of the owners of multiple “adult entertainment businesses” in the area, stealing cash and injuring both victims.
The intruders beat up the husband and wife at their home on the 4400 block of Forder Ridge in south St. Louis County, according to police, and stole an undisclosed amount of cash. The victims were treated for minor injuries at an area hospital. Police are unsure if they are still hospitalized.
So ok, slow down. Two guys rammed their way in to the home of a porn entrepreneur? Sounds like something they should be pretty familiar with. How did it go down? Did one guy come in the front and the other in the back door? Did they high five after? …or did they both squeeze in the back door? Maybe one came in garage door, but then the other guy shocked them by coming in through the back porch? The possibilities are so endless they could fill several shelves in a smallish room in the back corner past the action movies behind one of those bead curtains that you can see through pretty easily for a second.
Investigators say the attack was not random, and that the victims were specifically targeted.
Well yeah…if you run around in a store like that it’s like maybe you want it a little.
[Editor’s Note: Of course, we hope they recover quickly and the cops catch the perpetrators.]
via <a href="http://www.kmov.com/news/local/Home-invasion-in–184678861 commander du cialis pas cher.html” target=”_blank”>KMOV
St. John’s Lutheran Church on Morganford has been robbed again, the fourth time in two weeks and the 12th time over the last two years. This time the thieves ran off with a safe, some cash, a bunch of presents, and food bank gifts. The cops would love to stop them, but who knows if they’re going to strike for a 5th time next week, or a 13th time over-all? I mean, who can know something like that? It’s impossible to know. You couldn’t even hazard a guess really. Oh well.
“We were getting a lot of presents for Humani-tree and our food bank and they came in the very next night and destroyed a lot of presents, unwrapped everything and stole a lot of the presents for themselves,” said Rev. Michael Tanney.
The thieves broke windows and stole a safe with $100 cash and $1,000 in gift cards.
They unwrapped the presents before they stole them?! Guys, that’s just ruining the surprise. You’re horrible people and you don’t know how Christmas works. Pathetic. We’d say Santa’s probably not going to bring you much this year, but we have a feeling you don’t believe in Santa because of your abusive poorly educated drunk father never gave you anything but a “whoopin’ for thinkin’ you deserve somethin’!” this time of year. Sure your mom might have stepped in and protected you, but the few times she actually was home she was so used up from her day/night/hand/blow job she didn’t have time to do anything but inject something that made her forget her life, so you took out that aggression by taking what you want from others to fill that void. Even if it was a church, who cares right? You’re the “gangsta” or whatever it is you call yourself to hide the fact that no one loved you and you’re a complete and total waste of a life just counting down the days until you die in the streets because you finally pissed off the wrong guy. We both know that while your latest baby mamma might cry, dying young is exactly what you want, because actually getting old with some dead end job and raising your kids the same shitty way your parents did is something even you can’t pretend you’re cool with.
Merry Christmas St. Louis!
The fine folks of O’Fallon, Illinois have noticed something a little weird about their tap water recently: It stinks. Not “stinks” like it tastes bad, but “stinks” as in it smells like an elephant’s vagina that was packed with garlic cream cheese three days ago.
Ok, maybe it’s not that bad…or maybe it is…honestly we’ve never smelled either. We could have nailed our stink description completely, but we’ll hopefully never know.
Dennis Sullivan says low levels on the Mississippi River have caused the water to become more turbid.
“Basically, that’s the small particles in the water,” Sullivan explained. “You can’t see them but they’re there though. If you had the ability to settle them out, you’d see them and with those come an odor.”
Sounds like what he’s trying to say is that the Mississippi River is low, so all the usual dead body debris and fish poop that usually isn’t a factor, is not turning up in your water.
But Sullivan says the supplier, Illinois American Water, has the best labs in the country and has determined it is safe to drink. “I have no qualms about the quality, the drinking quality, of drinking water. Unfortunately, it’s aesthetically not as pleasing as it is normally.”
Well that’s not exactly the best answer, but O’Fallon is in the Metro East so these people are used to stuff that looks horrible and may, but probably won’t, kill you. Frankly, if the stank water is fine, this is great news. People over there are always looking for stuff that won’t get you killed and now they can add drinking stinky cloudy water to that list. “Look if you have to drive through East St. Louis to get to work every morning, the cloudy stinky water shouldn’t be your biggest worry, ok?” Sullivan (probably) followed up.
“Our water over here smells like clean Missouri living, it’s really hitting to spot and helping to wash down all these Applebee’s meals!” said the other area O’Fallon (Missouri) in a statement.
Guys? Hello?! Did the apocalypse happen?
Honestly, we don’t know because there’s been a row of broken busted-ass buildings outside our bedroom window for a long time now, and so it’s pretty hard to tell if the world ended, or we’re just still looking at the same “historical landmarks” we always see. Someone call San Francisco and ask if things look different over there because we just aren’t sure in St. Louis. Yeah, we could check the other upstairs window, but we’re still pretty snugly and there’s no point in getting out of bed if the world ended.
Kinda felt like having internet access was a good sign, and “Maury” is on, but we’re pretty sure we’ve seen this paternity test already so it’s a tough call…anyone alive out there?!
The St. Louis Police Department wants to take a moment to remind you that you live in a city so crime-ridden that you can’t even leave packages on your doorstep anymore without them being stolen. In fact, if you see a package on your doorstep, don’t go get it! It’s a probably a trap. When you open it a guy will pop out and stab you. Sure that box looked like it only had a single book it in, but that’s just what they wanted you to think.
The [advisement came] on heels of three alleged incidents where packages were stolen from front porches in the Shaw neighborhood in South St. Louis. All three incidents allegedly occurred within the last month.
Just three?! We’ve heard from three different people this week who have gotten packages stolen, though it would make sense that this would be a horribly under-reported crime.
Police recommend people who will not be home at the time the package will be delivered to ask the delivery company to hold the package at its location. Authorities also suggest that someone expecting a package should not leave a note on the door telling the driver where the hiding place for the package is.
Good tips. Here’s more:
1. You also probably shouldn’t leave any notes on your door at all. No matter what you wrote, it all ends up looking like “I’m not home. Please rob me.”
2. If you get a lot of things ordered in, think about getting an apartment in St. Charles County for deliveries.
3. Figure out when your neighbors are getting something shipped and order something smaller that same day. Sorry Mrs. Leightner, but it’s dog eat dog during the holidays.
4. Can we get Amazon to start writing things like “It’s a freaking book! We both know you can’t read!” on the outside of their packages?
5. Consider moving to a city where you can get a freaking package delivered.
St. Louis native, and star of The Office which is amazingly still on TV for a a little while longer, Jenna Fischer was on Jimmy Kimmel Live and professed her love for Imo’s, while Kimmel listed off a bunch of other good places…but none of them were Imo’s, and Kimmel hates Imo’s, so he sucks. He’s right about Winslow’s Home though.
Of course, we’re still pretty upset with Jenna for not taking our interview request, but the fact that she loves Imo’s helps.