St. Louis Optimizing Murders, Killing Each Other Right at Funeral Homes

 Posted on December 1, 2010  |  The Editor

Oh St. Louis. You are a crafty folk aren’t you. See us St. Louis types just can’t stop killing each other and, frankly, it’s high time we start being more efficient at it. Like say, killing people and reusing your bullets, aiming for the face for that one-shot kill, or just killing people right there at the funeral home. Two mourners were killed and at least one other wounded today when gunfire erupted outside a funeral home. [Read More]
funeral home  murder  shooting 

Someone Else Gets Shot in the Ass: Betcha Can’t Steal Just One Bag of Potato Chips!

 Posted on November 24, 2010  |  The Editor

Three kids enter a gas station to steal some chips. Maybe Ruffles. We aren’t sure, but Ruffles are the best, only morons steal Doritos. The teenage boy entered Myrt’s Northland Market at 2814 North Kingshighway with two other teens, Lt. Ken Lammert said. The owner, Myrtle Dunn, watched the teens take some potato chips and try to leave the store without paying. Dunn demanded they return them, and two of the teens did so, Lammert said. [Read More]
ass  chips  shooting 

Don’t Put Down Your Gun When Robbing People

 Posted on November 12, 2010  |  The Editor

When you rob someone, don’t just pull the gun out, surprise them and then think it’s over. It’s not! Robbery not finished yet! You still have work to do! Just don’t put down the gun! The suspected robber, whose name has not been released, came to the home on Compton to use the phone, police said. He came there with a 20-year-old man he’d just met on Wednesday night. Inside the home on Compton was a 19-year-old man. [Read More]
gun  robbery  shooting 

Why So Serious? Police Catch World’s Greatest Criminal Mind in East St. Louis

 Posted on October 13, 2010  |  The Editor

After 2 shootings, an armed robbery, and a car chase than ended in him rolling his car in to the woods, the fiendish plot of the greatest criminal mind since Lex Luther came to an end. If you were thinking about taking over the world by getting buck naked and shooting and ramdon people, think again! Stick to the basics: Death rays or creating your own Justin Bieber to infect the minds of the young with lesbian hair and horrible music. [Read More]
east st. louis  shooting  super villain 

Man Drives in to House After Being Shot

 Posted on October 7, 2010  |  The Editor

Another day in St. Louis… A man runs his car in to a parked car, through a fence and in to the side of a family’s home Tuesday night. It’s not really his fault though, the driver had been shot a few times right before all of that: A car that smashed into a north St. Louis home late Tuesday was being driven by a man who suffering from gunshot wounds, police say. [Read More]
driving  shooting 

Shooting Your Gun At City Hall Isn’t a Good Idea

 Posted on September 21, 2010  |  The Editor

Are we an angrier populous these days or are guns just that much easier to come across? Sunday morning, in the parking garage of none other than the freaking City Hall of St. Charles, Melissa Pontius (right) got in a little argument with a few other people that were for some reason hanging out at the St. Charles City Hall at 1:30am on a Saturday night. Well, as the story goes, Melissa had just about enough, so did she go off and make fun of her opponents on her blog like all other right-thinking Americans? [Read More]
shooting  st charles 

Rappin’ Ex-Cop Got Shot For All the Wrong Reasons

 Posted on September 15, 2010  |  The Editor

Correction: In the post “Former St. Louis Cop Makes His Entry to the Horrible St. Louis Music Video Contest” we mislabeled our rappin’ ex-cop as a “hero”. Wrong! To quote our previous piece (emphasis added): The latest entry in to the “That’s pretty bad, but I can make a worse St. Louis rap video” contest that seemingly sprung up out of nowhere is from “Tak”, a former cop that bravely took a bullet, quit being a cop…and then started a rap career. [Read More]
cops  morons  rapper  shooting  tak 

Dude Buying CDs Gets Shot in the Face

 Posted on August 9, 2010  |  The Editor

…and the record industry is trying to make it seem like downloading songs isn’t safe. Pfffffft. Try telling it to the guy that just got shot in the face trying to buy some CDs on Natural Bridge over the weekend. A man told police he was trying to buy CDs when he was shot in the face by the seller Saturday night. Police said the 28-year-old man was shot in the 4200 block of Natural Bridge in St. [Read More]
cds  mp3  north st. louis  shooting 

Random Gunfire Moves to St. Charles County

 Posted on July 26, 2010  |  The Editor

Last night at around 7p a 16-year-old lifeguard at O’Fallon, MO’s Twin Chimneys Subdivision Pool was caught in the leg by a stray bullet. O’Fallon, Missouri police said the teen was hit in her upper leg while she was on the pool deck at Twin Chimneys Subdivision Pool on Sunday around 6:45 p.m. She was treated for minor injuries and was taken to an area hospital. Police do not know where the bullet came from, but said it could have been fired “a significant distance away” from the subdivision. [Read More]
missouri  ofallon  shooting 

Don’t F*ck With the Rally’s Drive Through

 Posted on June 30, 2010  |  The Editor

The Rally’s drive-through on Jefferson in South City had a action movie-style shoot out in it, thankfully while we weren’t waiting in line to get our Baconzilla meal deal. It all started as a basic St. Louis carjacking. Oh, except it was in a Rally’s drive through. Blockquote has all the details. It was a robbery attempt outside the Rally’s on Jefferson. The victim says he and a friend were contemplating their order, when two suspects tried to get in the car. [Read More]
carjack  cheese fries  gun  rally's  shooting