Empty Bag of Weed Drives Imperial Man to Kill

Pro Tip: Always check your bag of weed before giving up the money. It may drive you to shoot a guy. Ryan Harris (right) paid Michael Maybearry (dead) $20 for a bag of weed, got home, found the bag was empty. That made Harris angry, so angry the first thought through his mind, as told to police was: “I gotta kill this guy.” Harris sounds pretty highly strung. He really could have used that weed! [Read More]

Drug Deals in the Bass Pro Shop Parking Lot Always End Badly

As far as we know, there’s only been one drug deal done in the St. Charles Bass Pro Shop parking lot, and it ended with four guys killing St. Charles native and current Rams practice squad member Brandon Joyce. Seems like the safe bet is to go do your drug deals in the parking lots of White Castles like the rest of us. In a probable cause statement, police said Joyce and a friend had planned to buy drugs from Cory Brooks and the fourth unidentified suspect. [Read More]

Woman Attempts to Hire Hitman to Kill Husband

A Collinsville woman has been charged by the police for attempting to hire a hitman with the intent of having the father of her child killed. Christina Keck offered a measly $600 bucks to a man to kill her baby daddy…but the guy was an undercover cop…or he just said that to seem more bad ass after he turned her in for trying to have someone kill a man for less than the price of a MacBook. [Read More]

St. Louis Thugs Doing All They Can to Match 2009’s Death Toll

Last year was a down year for St. Louis’ many murders. After a banner 2008 in which we managed to kill 167 of us, 2009 brought only 143, a full 24 fewer murders, an obvious embarrassment for a city that is considered the nation’s most dangerous. Worst still, 2010 was on pace for even less murders! What happened? Did UMSL starting giving out bullet proof vests to incoming freshmen or are St. [Read More]

Alleged Comic Book Guy Rapist Found Dead

So remember the guy from a month ago that managed a multi-hour stand-off with the police as he hid in his comic book store until he finally surrendered… It took St. Louis police 3 and a half hours to peaceably coax suspected rapist and comic book shop owner, Kenneth McClure, to put down his weapon and come out of his south Hampton store, Legends Comics & Sports Cards. So anyway, he’s dead now. [Read More]

St. Louis Optimizing Murders, Killing Each Other Right at Funeral Homes

Oh St. Louis. You are a crafty folk aren’t you. See us St. Louis types just can’t stop killing each other and, frankly, it’s high time we start being more efficient at it. Like say, killing people and reusing your bullets, aiming for the face for that one-shot kill, or just killing people right there at the funeral home. Two mourners were killed and at least one other wounded today when gunfire erupted outside a funeral home. [Read More]

Suspect in Brutal Murder Believes in Karma According to MySpace

No doubt you’ve heard of the brutal murder scene discovered in East St. Louis recently. No not that one, the other one. No, the more brutal one. …ok, it was the one where a man, Zachary Irvin, was dismembered and burned to death. According to STLToday: Irvin’s dismembered body was found burning on top of a metal landscaping cart nearby. Evidence led investigators to the large warehouse along Front Street, where they found three rooms with blood-spattered floors and walls. [Read More]

Gyro House Guy: The Murder is Still Out There

These posters are up all over the Loop.

…ok. So are they saying the “perp” is a burn victim? Is he wearing a black guy mask? A robot from the future? …I really think we need to go back to the drawings of the guys…these computer sketches look weird.

RIP Gyro House Guy

We “like” lots of St. Louis restaurants, but we only love a few. Gyro House in the Loop is one of them, though sadly it’s owner was shot and killed outside of his home Friday night in Maplewood. It’s weird. We’ve seen Ahmed a lot though didn’t actually know his name until now, and never said much more to him other than “Jumbo gyro to go.” and “Thanks.” Police said Ahmed Eltawmi, 50, owner of the Gyro House in the Delmar Loop, was shot three times during a dispute and scuffle shortly after 9 p. [Read More]

Links For Your Blue Monday

It’s May 17th! The Beautiful Kind is back in action! Cops find dude murdered at South City car dealership. Key quote from police: “The place is kind of ransacked a little bit. It could be just from the way they keep the business, we don’t know at this time.” Way to kick them when their down officer. — KSDK.com The community helps a guy figure out some good date ideas for St. [Read More]