Brad Penny Has a Perfectly Square Head

 Posted on April 27, 2010  |  The Editor

Look at that picture of St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Brad Penny. That is one square head and neck combo is it not? Is that attractive? Do girls like heads that look like a tree stump with ears glued on the side? Is this what you want? Eliza Dushku, Alyssa Milano, and whoever the hell this chick is apparently all think so as Penny has dipped in to each of their pine tar at one point or another. [Read More]
baseball  brad penny  cardinals  hot chicks 

Glenn Close Throws out First Pitch

 Posted on April 19, 2010  |  The Editor

Award winning actress Glenn Close was in town on Saturday to throw out the first pitch at the Mets v Cardinals tilt. Close was in town to raise funds and awareness about not making fun of crazy people I. One message Close hopes to drive home is that a mental illness doesn’t have to stop anyone from living a productive, fulfilling life. “It’s not a cool subject for a lot of people,” Close said. [Read More]
1st pitch  baseball  cardinals  glenn close 

Cardinals Played a Lot of Baseball Saturday Night

 Posted on April 19, 2010  |  The Editor

Total Game Time: 6 hours 53 minutes Players Used: 46 At Bats: 158 Pitches: 652 Walks: 19 Strikes Outs: 35 Retarded Tony LaRussa Moves: At least 3. The players found it exciting, the fans found it boring and Tony LaRussa found those pot brownies the Brendan Ryan was saving until after the game. “That’s the fist time I’ve been part of something like that,” said first baseman Albert Pujols. “That was pretty special right there. [Read More]
baseball  cardinals  mets  mlb 

Barry Bonds is Proud of Mark McGwire

 Posted on April 12, 2010  |  The Editor

Nothing like two guys that aided in butt-raping the sport of baseball catching up and spreading good cheer via the press. Barry showed some McGwire love when he (finally) showed up to the 2000 Giants team reunion: “I have a really good friendship with Mark McGwire. I’m proud of him,” the 45-year-old Bonds, back in the Bay Area for a reunion at AT&T Park of the Giants’ 2000 NL West champion team, said when asked what he thought of McGwire’s January admission. [Read More]
barry bonds  baseball  mark mcgwire  sammy sosa  steroids 

Top 5 Best and Worst Cardinals 2010 Promotions

 Posted on April 8, 2010  |  The Editor

Every year professional sporting teams hand out those “Promotional Schedules” to everyone with a free hand as if to say “Thanks for spending all this money on us. Checkout this list of cheap crap we will give you if you spend more money with us on a specific day.” We thought it would be fun to take a peak at the St. Louis Cardinals promo schedule and break it down for our sexy sexy readers. [Read More]
baseball  cardinals  mlb  promotions  schwag 

Cardinals on Pace for 162 Wins!

 Posted on April 6, 2010  |  The Editor

The 2k10 baseball season started today in Cincinnati for the St. Louis Cardinals. After beating the Reds today 11 to 6, they are on pace for an astounding 162 wins! Which should be just enough to win the central division. *fingers crossed* Not only that but… Albert Pujols, with his two homeruns, is on pace for about 324 home runs. Yadier Molina is on pace for only 162, but all of them are grand slams. [Read More]
baseball  cardinals  opening day  pujols 

Play Like a Cardinal Commercials 2k10

 Posted on March 31, 2010  |  The Editor

Baseball is nearly upon us and that means new Cardinal commercials. We have done our homework and watched each and every one, linked them below, and have a few quick facts as well. We don’t know why exactly the Cardinals need commercials, but we’re glad they still make them. Ok, so you don’t put in the newly acquired Matt Holiday, but you do put in Fredbird. Twice. Update: We stand corrected. [Read More]
baseball  cardinals  commercial 

Pujols Likes Milk, Well We Think That’s Milk…Of Course it is. Why Wouldn’t It Be?

 Posted on March 25, 2010  |  The Editor

Albert “Stop Calling My El Hombre” Pujols finally got on a Got Milk ad. Apparently being the best player in a major sport doesn’t qualify you ahead of a bunch of crappy musicians, actors and a guy that beat the hell out of his girlfriend. In fact we here are loving the irony of how bad ass Pujols’ Got Milk ad is in comparison to Chris Brown’s…ahem…less bad ass ad. [Read More]
advertisements  albert pujols  baseball  cardinals  got milk  mlb 

Cardinals Have Internal Discussions About Trading Brendan Ryan for Alex Rodriguez

 Posted on March 17, 2010  |  The Editor

According to our sources the St. Louis Cardinals have had internal discussions about trading injured so-so shortstop Brendan Ryan to the New York Yankees for All-Star third baseman Alex Rodriguez. It is not clear whether the Cardinals have brought this idea to the attention of the Yankees. Even if the Yankees were actually to consider this offer it might be a difficult to one to work out as A-Rod is a good contributor and has recently bonded with the New York fans after reclaiming the World Series title in 2009. [Read More]
albert pujols  alex rodriguez  baseball  mlb  not news  ryan howard  trade 

Phillies Want to Trade Ryan Howard for Pujols

 Posted on March 15, 2010  |  The Editor

Um, no. That’s the rumor though according to an ESPN article. Internal discussions in the Phillies front office have centered on pitching a deal that would trade one team’s MVP first baseman for another. The logic for a Howard for Pujols swap, as discussed within the Phillies’ organization, could fall along these lines: Pujols, 30 years old, is eligible for free agency after the 2011 season, and early conversations about a contract extension have not led to any long-term deal. [Read More]
albert pujols  baseball  mlb  ryan howard  trade