PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

Kyle Lohse Has a New Tattoo

Cardinals starting pitcher Kyle Lohse arrived at Spring Training the other day sporting some new ink. Let us guess! Some sort of baseball that’s flying so fast the cover is coming off of it? Ding! Ding! Ding! How’d we guess?! Oh yeah, every pitcher that thinks tats are a good idea get something about a ball’s cover coming off. They must be big fans of The Sandlot or something. Lohse has a scar the length of his forearm curving from his elbow toward his wrist. [Read More]

Scott Halliday’s Perv Career is Starting Off Nicely

A 28-year old man, Scott Halliday, has been arrested in Springfield, Missouri for causing $2,000 dollars worth of damage to a tanning bed. How did he do that? He was standing on it of course! Why? So he could peep on the girl tanning on the other side of the dividing wall! …oh did we mention he’s a perv? … Oh and he’s also being accused of fleeing the scene when a woman busted him for the peeping. [Read More]

STLToday’s Best Photo and Caption Combo Ever?

There’s a screen grab from today’s STLToday.com/sports homepage on the right. Do they think that’s how Pujols reacted to the rumored offer with only 7 years as opposed to his required 10? They think he reacted to it like that time Skip Schumaker ripped that nasty fart in the dugout and then tried to look all casual in the other direction to throw Pujols off the trail? Maybe he did. [Read More]

Adrienne Martin’s Autopsy: Accidental Overdose, Coke Straws, and Someone Should Really Hire a Maid

Over the weekend we had a chance to go over the Adrienne Martin case files that were released on Friday and so kindly uploaded by the RFT’s Chad Garrison, who as also done his own summary. Most of this is either unsurprising or just more of the same, but there are a few details in here worth pointing out, so lets run though them. 1. Despite everyone’s claims, Adrienne Martin did drugs. [Read More]

10 Questions For Local Rapper Corle 2 Da

We haven’t done one of our ever so popular 10 question interviews in a while so it’s way past time for that to return and we can’t think of a better person to bring it back with than local rapper Corle 2 Da. Yes, that Corle 2 Da. The very one we (in)famously took a few shots at, and who later dropped us a line to let us know that he can take a joke, which is awesome! [Read More]

Woman Who Didn’t Know She Was Pregnant, Gives Birth. New Baby Immediately the Smartest in the Family.

Doctor, is it a cause for concern if your turds come out screaming while kicking and clawing at your legs? Oh, I see. So your medical opinion is that the reason is needed to go to the bathroom this morning, was not a food baby, but because I was having an actual baby? Interesting. Can I get a second opinion? Here’s one: You’re also, pretty clearly, retarded. No joking. That actually happened yesterday morning. [Read More]

Mark Buehrle Really Doesn’t Like Michael Vick

Native St. Louisan and Chicago White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle really likes dogs. In fact, Buehrle made news in December when his wife found a dog walking around St. Louis with an arrow sticking out of it and donated money to pay for the dog’s medical bills as well as found the dog a home. No word on if the dog has a comical water stream shoot out of his side when he drinks water, but it’s still a good story and makes Mark Buehrle seem like a really nice guy that cares. [Read More]

Arch Worker Pinned Between Arch Tram and a Hard Place Yesterday

An employee of the St. Louis Arch was pinned for 30 seconds between the south leg tram and the top of the shaft while working on electrical upgrades yesterday. I bet that hurt. One time we stubbed our town on the south leg of our coffee table and it hurt like hell. Like really hurt and still hurt the next day, probably just like this guy’s injury. The good news for him is that after two days we were fine and we got to limp around at work and make people ask us what happened. [Read More]

Seat Warmers Are Burning People and Maggie Crane Says Maggie Crane Likes to Talk in the Third Person

KMOV’s Maggie Crane brings us a story of Volkswagon seat warmers that are burning people’s asses, no doubt after becoming sentient and fighting back against all those times you farted on them while in traffic or right before you got out of the car to head in to the office. A Metro East woman says the seat warmer in her Volkswagen Jetta melted her leather car seat and burned her back. [Read More]

Armored Car Robber Gets Nabbed, Then Insulted by Police

An armored car was running through a standard pickup at the Shop ‘n Save off Chippewa next to the new-ish Wendy’s that finally allow us to get a freaking junior bacon cheese burger and a vanilla frosty from time to time, when a man put a gun in the back of the armored car’s “runner”. After being handed a couple of bags of money, the man ran off on foot (probably to the Wendy’s first, since it’s like the only one around). [Read More]