PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

East St. Louis: Where You Can Get Robbed While at Church

 Posted on January 28, 2013  |  The Editor

The thugs of East St. Louis have broken the last barrier: They’re robbing you in church now! East St. Louis Police Chief Michael Floore said a call reporting the incident came into the Police Department at 5:12 p.m. about the armed robbery of people at IRA Grove Baptist Church, located at 1701 Belmont. “Church service was going on when three masked gunmen went into the church and robbed the people who were there at gunpoint,” Floore said. [Read More]
church  east st. louis  robbery 

Maybe Just Stick to Old People Music KLOU

 Posted on January 25, 2013  |  The Editor

Poor David Freese. The Cardinals third baseman got over his issues, but KLOU, being the “oldies” station, loves to bring up stuff people would just rather forget. In fact, we’ve never understood why radio stations make their jocks come up with news stories to say in between songs and commercials, but they all do it and it’s always horrible. Usually the jocks stick with the lamest entertainment news possible: Kardashians, Britney Spears, something about the Twilight movies…but some, like KLOU’s Cindy Collins (2p – 7p) take the “just find some shit to talk about” job a little more seriously than others. [Read More]
cindy collins  david freese  klou 

East St. Louis Video Taping Food Stamp Fights To Share With the World

 Posted on January 25, 2013  |  The Editor

Just remember: For every guy in an ironic t-shirt with think black glasses and a waxed mustache telling you how the world is changing for the better with every tweet about your “personal brand”, we’re also getting worse for every stupid ghetto fight over food stamps that gets posted to YouTube. Don’t get us wrong, we love a good YouTube fight, but still…no one’s making the world a better place through social media with this shit. [Read More]
east st. louis  fight  food stamps  youtube 

Bridgeton Battles Mutant Stink

 Posted on January 24, 2013  |  The Editor

So the word is that Bridgeton, Missouri smells horrible. Like if a monkey ate a bunch of rotten cheese, and then an elephant ate the monkey and it gave him diarrhea, which was put in a blender with some asparagus pee and poured in to Lindsay Lohan’s vagina…or something else that smells bad. Residents said the smell was horrid. There were some residents in St. Ann who said they could smell it too. [Read More]
bridgeton  missouri  stink 

We Won Another RFT Web Award

 Posted on January 23, 2013  |  The Editor

Thanks to the Riverfront Times for once again honoring us with a RFT Web Award. We even showed up to the award show, making a rare public appearance to meet with the fans and lean on a wall while tweeting jokes that never did get to show up on the big Twitter wall thing they had. Damn censors. The show was quite the spectacle. RFT’s Chad Garrison really took to the role of host (think James Franco at the Oscars) which only turned out to the be pre-show, as the impromptu freaky dance party that followed the awards portion really stole the show, and cost us a few grand in therapy ones those memories un-repress themselves in 10 years. [Read More]
award  rft  riverfront times 

Chuck Berry Given Lifetime Achievement Award, Still Won’t Take Off That Stupid Hat

 Posted on January 23, 2013  |  The Editor

The local legend, and 1st mate on the SS Crazy Old Man, Chuck Berry was given a lifetime achievement award by the St. Louis Arts and Education Council Monday at the Chase Park Plaza Hotel. …and yes, he was wearing that damn captain’s hat. Berry is one of the pioneers of rock `n’ roll with a string of hits that included “Maybellene, “Sweet Little Sixteen” and “Johnny B. Goode.” He still performs every month at Blueberry Hill in the St. [Read More]
award  chuck berry 

Missouri Lawmaker Wants to Discourage Sex Offenders From Hiring Real Estate Agents

 Posted on January 22, 2013  |  The Editor

Missouri Representative Charlie Davis is thinking out loud about pushing a new law that would put pressure on any sex offenders trying to buy a home in Missouri, and the real estate agent that helps them. Sex offenders “have the right to live in a community if they want to, but it’s also the right of the families to know if there is a member in their community that is a convicted sex offender against children so we can make sure our children are aware of it and it doesn’t happen to them,” said Davis, R-Webb City. [Read More]
real estate  sex offenders 

Missouri Representative Wants to Tax Violent Video Games, Remind Everyone We’re Retarded Out Here

 Posted on January 18, 2013  |  The Editor

Diane Franklin, the Missouri Representative from Camdenton, has made the news recently by calling for a 1% sales tax on all violent video games, which is timely not only because of our nation current gun violence debate but also because it’s been a few weeks since a public figure from Missouri stood up, opened their mouth and reminded everyone that Missouri has stupid public figures and to continue to make fun of us for being fat redneck retards. [Read More]
Diane Franklin  guns  video games 

Popular Bluff Man Beats Parents With Baseball Bat, Tells Police

 Posted on January 17, 2013  |  The Editor

Going forward, Thanksgivings will probably be a little awkward… Man confesses to brutally beating his parents at their Poplar Bluff home Tuesday evening. Well, the important thing is that he eventually told the truth. Pretty sure that’s what Bill Cosby told Rudy and we can’t think of a reason why it wouldn’t apply here. Officers with the Poplar Bluff Police Department were called to the scene at 12 p.m. after a they received a call from a man who said he arrived at the home in the 1900 block of Wilson Street and found two people inside had been beaten. [Read More]
assault  popular bluff 

You Should Definitely Eat This Strangers Bacon

 Posted on January 16, 2013  |  The Editor

This guy has some bacon, but he doesn’t like bacon, so instead of just returning the bacon from where it came from or throwing away the bacon, he decided the only option was to put it on Craigslist. Why didn’t he just give it to a friend…oh never mind. Starting to feel a little bit sorry for lonely bacon Cragistlist guy. Free bacon, I just don’t like bacon, serious inquires only, drop a text at ****** [Read More]
bacon  craigslist  food