PUNCHING KITTY

Who wouldn’t want to wake up to that face in the morning? Apparently this snooty broad from Belleville who got all uptight when she woke up to see a homeless guy (above) standing in her room. According to police, the man was found inside the home in the 100 block of East Monroe last Thursday. The Victim woke up, screamed and the suspect left her room. Officers came and arrested the man without any incident. [Read More]

After pleading guilty yesterday in a St. Charles court to knowingly  exposing someone to HIV, Charles W. Benjamin, has been sentenced to eight years in prison. Benjamin is currently serving another 8 year sentence for the exact same crime in Lincoln County.

Police said Benjamin had unprotected sex with a woman in St. Charles County numerous times between December 2007 and June of 2008 without telling her he was HIV positive. He has known he was HIV positive since March of 1998, police said.

Prosecutors in St. Charles County said the woman has not tested positive for HIV.

There are two questions we have with this story…

1. The maximum sentence for this type of crime is 15 years. Weird as it is that this kind of thing happens enough to warnet an official max sentence, its weirder still that this guy somehow didn’t get the maximum 15 years? Is there a worse way to kill a woman with your wang? Do you have to be convicted a few more times to get the max?! Twice isn’t enough? Does he need to tape syringes to his penis next time if he wants to hit the sentencing tilt?

2. How did we manage to go through high-school strking out with the ladies but Beardo McAids over here is apparently the casanova of more than a few zipcodes? What game could this guy be spitting to continually get ladies in the sack to give them the Aids? Seriously. We’re interested in knowing his game plan. Sure we have no problem getting ladies when its warm enough to take our shirt off and bench press a few homeless guys, but winter is right around the corner and we would value the assistance of a CyrAIDSno de Bergerac.

Eh. Nevermind. We don’t have enough time to practice that “You’ve Got Aids” barbershop song.

(Confused? Click through the jump to see the video.)

via STLToday

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Yes, its old news now, but power-emo band Kings of Leon, the band now famous for quitting on their St. Louis audience last month because of excessive bird poopy, is planning their return to St. Louis and, interestingly, Verizon Wireless Amphitheater. “As soon as what happened happened, we knew we were going to come back,” Kings of Leon bassist Jared Followill said. “We knew (leaving) would be horrible, and we knew people were not going to be happy. [Read More]

The Cardinals had the day off yesterday which worked out well since the annual charity golf tournament put on by the Pujols Foundation was yesterday and putting out a “sorry everyone is at work” would have made for a lame “celebrity” golf game over at the swank St. Alben’s course. In attendance were Shaq, Tony LaRussa’s good buddy, Bob Knight, Bo Jackson, Ozzie Smith, Mark McGwire and of course all the usual Cardinal teammates. [Read More]

In the last 48 hours St. Louis’ two Apple Stores have been the location of celebrity sightings! No, we aren’t talking St. Louis celebrities like Mike Bush or that shirtless guy that always sits in front of you at Cardinal games (you know the one), nor are we talking about celebrities from St. Louis. Real celebrities that I guess got lost or something. Just yesterday at the West County Apple Store, Edin Gali, of Mad Men fame, stopped by to make a purchase. [Read More]

The Coast Guard, which traffics rivers too apparently found a human torso floating in the Mississippi River Sunday just blocks from the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. It is unknown if the torso is that of a man or a woman, or how long it may have been in the water. The body will be sent to the medical examiner for further investigation. Um…the torso wasn’t enough to tell if it was a woman? [Read More]

It was almost a year ago when we noticed that some broad from one of those “We’re teenagers so every little stupid thing in my life is super important and sad” shows is from St. Louis, see: Some Piece From Gossip Girl is From St. Louis

Her name is Taylor Momsen and we revisit her again today because this chick is a freak yo!  Maybe that’s why, in a city that pokes every little celeb from here with their boner (Oh Sheryl Crow! *poke* John Goodman! *poke* Ike Turner *poke*…ok, maybe not that last one.) it never seems to make much of a fuss over her.

Here are a few quotes from St. Louis’ little forgotten princess:

“I’m not looking to be Miley fucking Cyrus. I don’t care about the fame. I do it because I love music. I like making records and if people like them, then we’ll go along for the ride. I’m not dissing Miley personally. However, I do think the **Disney bubblegum **shit that the world is living right now is pathetic. I thought we passed that repression. I don’t know Miley, but musically we’re different. To compare us because of our age is silly. People will be surprised by the record. I mean, it’s a rock record. I get that there is this blonde thing from Gossip Girl and they’re expecting pop shit, but it’s a rock band and its heavy. Our record is a life record. It confronts everything head on. It’s death, love, drugs, sex, religion, politics.”

That was her living for the music and not the fame, and talking to FHM UK. What a little Courtney Love!

Taylor has also confessed her best friend is her “pocket rocket” because she is bored with men. She’s 17 right now. This was a year ago. Then she later “clarified” her vibrator comment via a tweet to Perez Hilton: “its a vibrator not a dildo..big difference.”

Most recently, Taylor revealed that a track on her new album Going Down was in reference as to the goings on of the Catholic Church molestation scandals. She went on to say:

I was raised Catholic. I fucked a priest once – I’m just kidding.

Wow. That’s…that’s…she wouldn’t want a job writing for Punching Kitty would she? Call us!

Click through the jump to see a photo gallery of her looking like Courtney Love sometimes and then other times looking nice.

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Friday afternoon the word started trickling out that local group, Grand Slam Sports’ bid to buy the “other” sports talk radio station in town, KFNS (590 AM), became official. Not only that, Grand Slam Sports also announced they had purchased the local sports blog JoeSportsFanSTL.com. Their bid to buy the other other sports talk station you haven’t heard of KSLG (1380 AM) is still in the works. Grand Slam Sports, which consists of a group of local investors, bought KFNS from Big League Broadcasting for $1. [Read More]

In KMOV’s “Is This Why We’re Broke” segment, they dealt with people flaking on parking tickets. The story is largely boring and pays no mind to the fact that every other city in the world probably has the same, if not worse, problems collecting fines like these, but there is one interesting part. The #1 parking offender is Markquis Bryant and he owes some $11,400 in parking ticket fines! According to the the treasurer’s office, the top offender is a man named Markquis Bryant. [Read More]

Sure we ripped on him for much of the week, but Brandon Phillips did somehow manage to stumble his way in to a good thing by stirring up some crazy stuff with his now famous Cardinals rant (Checkout our full coverage here!). That being said, losing your mind in front of a microphone about another baseball club is hardly original though. Its happened more than a few times and a couple of the best where about the one club that’s pretty much a walking target for ripping on… [Read More]