What is in the water around here these days that makes every little weird dude think he can be a rapper?! I really didn’t think drinking a little homeless guy urine had this effect on people…maybe there is something else in the water.
The latest entry in to the “That’s pretty bad, but I can make a worse St. Louis rap video” contest that seemingly sprung up out of nowhere is from “Tak”, a former cop that bravely took a bullet drunkenly took a bullet (more on this follow up), quit being a cop…and then started a rap career. We really want to be there when they finally dislodge that bullet chunk that floated to his brain and he wakes up wondering what the hell he is wearing and why people keep calling him “Tak”. In the mean time, lets dissect his video!
“Stand Tall” is what you get if you mix slow spoken rap with drunken Tom Petty karaoke, a cheap video camera and St. Charles County wanna-be-ghetto fashion. One could say the video is a bit “Tak-y”. Zing!
Possibly in an effort to distract you to the fact that the song is approximately 79% chorus, the video tries its damnedest to use symbolism and Hollywood trickery to get you to like it. Notice the use of “Please Point a Camera At Me, I Don’t Care the Reason” skanks:
Gotta be weird for her to not be shot in night vision.
[Editor’s Note: Click through the jump to see the rest of the video review and, of course, the actual video!]
Our favorite scene though, is where our hero runs up the steps to the Arch with throngs of adoring fans…or maybe just other people that happen to be at the Arch that day. I guess we’ll never know! (Wait, yes we will.)
Symbolism works both ways though, so for every chick following Tak around, we raise with the frequent use of a hand gesture that doesn’t mean “St. Louis”, as Tak seems to think, but is more universally known to equate to “Loser”. How could no one have told him this? Is there an album cover floating around with Tak holding the “L” to his forehead? You people are not his friends. We love you for it, but you aren’t his friends.
…also the video ends with a shot of a dumpster. A long dumpster shot.
There’s that symbolism thing again!
Watch the whole thing here: