There are all kinds of wonderful uses for the internet! To just name a few off the top of our head, there’s porn, midget porn, banner ads that have playable games, amputee porn, Wikipedia, the Mayor’s Twitter stream, and of course, Disney character porn (we both know you want to, but please don’t search for that until you’re home from work tonight). Over the weekend we found one more thing for that list: Asking random people questions.

Omegle.com is a site, much like the infamous Chatroulette, where you are simply auto-paired with another random user for a chat over video or text, but they are beta testing a new feature where one can ask a question, any question, and have two strangers debate the answer. After spending far too long asking questions like “Who likes boobies?!”, “Who let the dogs out?” and “What what in the ___?”, we got down to business and decided to ask John Q. Internet what they knew about our fair city. A St. Louis public relations spot check if you will. Here is a sampling of our results:

Classy. What are the odds we’d get someone from Kansas City on the first try?!

Well…um…actually this is…uh…ok, we’ve got nothing. It is what it is. Enjoy.

Yes, Pujols! Finally! Reactions like this makes you wonder if the Mayor’s quietly drumming up support for a Pujols tax to keep the one guy people know from St. Louis around after this season. If not, we might have to check on Louis from the video game Left 4 Dead‘s availability and skills with a first basemen’s mitt.

We can see the new tourism campaign now: “St. Louis: Your mom and the Arch…maybe.”

Time to get to work St. Louis! No one knows a damn thing about you! The silver lining is that people clearly don’t remember which city is probably leading the nation in “rusty knife stabbings for less than $20″ according to a recent magazine/paper/blog that scraped another top/bottom list our of the shitty idea bowl, so now’s our chance! Get out there and start PR-ing your ass off St. Louis! Oh and maybe it’s time for a new tourism video, because this last one we put out there is kind of a downer, and we aren’t really vibing on the acid trip down Sesame Street aesthetic.

What the hell St. Charles?! You guys all think it’s funny to sit in your comfy, non-rubble homes watching tornado movies? Too soon man. Too soon.

Our eagle eyed tipster, one Aaron Burrows, nabbed this screenshot as proof. He was horrified by his fellow townsfolk, so he gets a pass. We will give St. Charles a point for enjoying Baseketball though, which was a fine flick that had St. Louis’ native son Bob Costas utter the line “You’re excited? Feel these nipples!” …but you also enjoy Maverick and that movie sucked. Also, Mystery Science Theater 3000 has it’s moments. Ok, so to review… +1 for Baseketball, +1 for Mystery Science Theatre, -1 for Maverick and then – 1,000 for the tornado National Geographic movie.

You bastards are the kind of people that went home and rented Airplane and the Towering Inferno after 9/11! We think protocol states we’re now supposed to angrily turn to the right and spit…look out “casually eating my lunch to next to a dude on a laptop” guy!

This Coyote hat, which is more of a full animal skin with a pocket for your head at one end than it is a traditional hat, can be all yours for $150! The sexy model does not come with the hat or, hopefully, at all.

We actually aren’t sure if this “hat” was actually something someone purposefully made this way, or a coyote tried to eat this slow-moving old broad one day only to choke and die while trying to swallow her head.

If your idea of a good way to blow $150 is to shove your head in the neck-hole of a dead animal skin, then this sounds like a good deal. It also sounds like a good deal if you just want to buy it to scare the neighbor kids or if you wanted something to wear to work on the days you have meetings with that vegetarian chick that just keeps going on and on about animal cruelty like you actually slaughtered your chicken nuggets in the parking lot.

via Craiglist and Reddit (bbr4nd0n)

[Full screen capture of the ad after the jump for posterity if/when the Craigslist link stops working]

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Pop Senario Quiz: You’re a nice St. Louis girl at the ballgame in your Molina jersey and your matching red shoes, and as you’re leaving, you see a guy passed out on the street…who also happens to be a Pirates fan…who also happens to have pissed himself. What does a nice young lady of St. Louis do?

A: Help the gentleman up, and get him to a cab.

B: Take his wallet. Pirate fan money buys meth just as well as money from people that like good baseball teams!

C: Squat down near his face, like you’re going to rip ass (or something) on him and give the camera the ole thumbs up sign.

D: Take your top off and lick one of your boobs while winking at the camera.

Well D would have been nice, but it was C…it’s always C.

Midwest hospitality at it’s finest.

via Dammit Wheeler who’s photo bug is almost big enough to make you think there might have actually been a little severed head on the street next to this seen. Click to his site for the photo source, but stay for the comic sans font! Jokes aside, this is a great photo find!

[Editor's Note: It took nearly 1500 posts, but we finally got the word "queef" in a title. A dream finally realized.]

We love a good farcical Craigslist post around here. *cough* So we’re glad we ran across this over the weekend and that someone had the forethought to screen grab it!

Have you dreamed of being famous? Are you a burgeoning socialite cougar with ambitions of making ti to the small screen? Do you frequently fornicate with members of your immediate family?

Sadly, this guy probably has an inbox full of submissions from every fat (but not Jefferson County fat, which everyone knows adds more pounds than a t-shirt scoop full of disposable cameras), stretch pants-rocking, side ponytail having, daycare/meth maker in the county.

via the Tip Line (full sized image here)

It was just Friday when we told you about the new website for local concert venue The Old Rock House (www.oldrockhouse.com, but I’d avoid clicking on that if you’re still rocking Internet Explorer.) and how it was really creepy and we didn’t get the whole “duct-taped girl” motif they were going for…oh that’s right they were hacked! Later that night it was fixed though, the creepy taped girl was expunged and the Old Rock House’s website full of photos from concerts by people we’ve never heard of was restored.

…and now they’re hacked again.

Same image, same group, same everything.

You know, setting your password to “theoldrockhouse” probably seemed like a brillant method to avoid a post-it note, but then things like this happen and you start to think “Maybe I should pick a harder password, like my kid’s first name, or wait…of course! ‘theoldrockhouse1‘! This is even smarter than me putting my wallet in my shoes at the beach before I go in the water. Stupid crooks…they never think to look in the toe.”

If Dade Murphy is behind this he better watch out! One more misstep and he could lose his scholarship!