A Wentzville tatto shop owner is facing gun and drug charges, which is a total bummer since he’s already in trouble for getting caught video taping women in his shop’s bathroom. The real shame of all of this is the lost of trust, because if you can’t trust your small town creepy tattoo artist to not shoot you or videotape you in the horrible little bathroom, then what do you have in this world?!

Court documents say that when a customer told him she wanted a piercing removed from her belly, he pulled out a hand gun and told her that “this would remove it.”

If we were that lady, we’d be less worried about this chosen piercing removal tools and more concerned about his little squinty eyes. Look at those things! They’re barely bigger than his nostrils! How is this guy tattooing anything correctly, let alone shooting off belly piercings? Maybe that’s why she wanted it remved to begin with, we hear belly piercings are more sexy and easier to remove yourself, when they aren’t 5 inches off center.

via STLToday

If we were looking for a way to blow a small fortune, steroids, cocaine and gambling sounds like as good a method as any, but we aren’t here to approve or judge…ok, that’s exactly what we’re for, but usually that comes later in the post after we do this intro bit followed by a block quote of actual reporting.

It all started a few days ago when Nelly and his then promoter SLIM got into a war of words. Apparently Slim booked Nelly to appear at a Basketball game, and Nelly didn’t like it.

So Nelly took to Twitter and AIRED OUT Slim . . . then fired him.

Well Slim didn’t like all the SLICK TWEETING . . . and proceeded to put ALLLL of Nelly’s business out there.

Dayummm . . . remind us NEVER to get on Slim’s bad side. When that man GOES IN . . . he goes ALL THE WAY IN!!!

As Media Take Out described, it all started on Twitter with this tweet from Nelly…

Nelly_Mo: NOO IM NOT PLAYING IN ANY BASKETBALLGAME TODAY IN STL!!i dont f#ck wit “”S_hady L_ame I_gnorant M_uthaf#ckas”"!!

…which was an obvious (obvious, being a relative term here) reference to Nelly’s sometimes promoter, who goes by the alias of “SLIM”. Well, we gotta say, we enjoy Slim. First he hits back with this (a tweet that has since been removed):

LooseCannonSLIM: @Nelly_Mo #FACTS u broke you spent yo whole fortune on #coke #steriods #ashanti #PILLS and at #HARRAHSCASINO u prolly there now!

…and as if allegations of drug abuse and poor money management skills wasn’t enough…

LooseCannonSLIM: @Nelly_Mo u sold yo soul to the devil for 10yrs of fame and fortune…time to pay up!..u need to go to Shalome ASAP!

LooseCannonSLIM: @Nelly_Mo made me??? SMH..man jus STOP IT HOLMES!..u jus makin urself look worst..DO URSELF A FAVOR N CALL 1800BETSOFF

LooseCannonSLIM: Ok #ainttruebutitsfunny I got more ppl in my house right now than ppl who brought #brassknuckles and #5.0. Put togetha!! @Nelly_Mo

LooseCannonSLIM: @Nelly_Mo #thingsbrokepplsay “man I dnt need this big house nomo all da kids grown away..I’m jus gonna get a condo” #niggaufelloff

It’s all good though, because they’re still “brothas”…ok, maybe one last shot…

LooseCannonSLIM: @Nelly_Mo and at the end of the day u still my brotha..but the #PILLS and #gambling turned u into a #!@%*#ed up nigga..but u been gettn away w/ #!@%*# too long..you #!@%*#n up a lot of ppl lives thats close to u..wake up nigga!

We love this SLIM guy! Easily one of the more entertaining Twitter fights of the year! …eh…ok, we don’t want to be a grammar nag but, one thing we noticed Slim…you missed the trailing on g “making” in one of your tweets…everything else looks good though.

Nelly has a rebuttal, also on Twitter, which we screencapped below:

Maybe we’ll never know how ‘roided and poor Nelly is or isn’t, but we will know this: These two gentlemen are both products of the St. Louis City school system, and though they are clearly both borderline illiterate, they are alive which plays to the strength of the St. Louis School System’s new slogan: “Look, just be happy you made it out alive. Go learn stuff on your own time.”

via MediaTakeout.com

Venn Diagrams are awesome. They are like if science forgot to use a coaster and at first you’re like “What the hell man?!” but then what are you going to do about it? Nothing. Does it look cool? Eh. Cool enough.

When we first talked about the mysterious death of celebrity, and ex-beer baron August Busch IV‘s girlfriend Adrienne Martin, the police initially focused the investigation towards a possible overdose after being found dead in a room in Busch’s mansion. Naturally, family and friends of Martin denied such claims with statements like…

“She was against drugs,” — Timothy Carlson, former boss

“Adrienne was always very anti-drug.” — Dr. Kevin Martin, ex-husband

We had this to say at the time:

The police are thinking overdose, [but] the family is poo-pooing on the overdose idea (but who’s family ever says to the press “Oh yeah. That was it! Totally overdose. My little darling loved her some nose-candy!”)

Well guess what was in the toxicology report! If you said cocaine, you’d be correct! Called it!

The 27-year-old woman found dead at the mansion of former Anheuser-Busch chief executive August Busch IV had cocaine and the painkiller oxycodone in her blood, according to a source close to the investigation and her ex-husband.

This was a no-brainer. Healthy 27-year-olds just don’t die quietly without any signs of trauma in a dark room by themselves. Something had to make this happen, and despite her family’s claim of some rare heart condition, the smart money was on drugs. …the question now is: Where did she get the drugs in question? It’s not like she was dating a long-time playboy rich of booze money that has a history or drug and alcohol abuse. Too bad, that would make it so much easier to make sense of all of this.

Busch could not be reached for comment.

His attorney, Arthur Margulis, said Saturday, “Having not actually seen the report, I have no comment at this time.”

What an oddly timed blockquote. We certainly weren’t inferring anything with our previous statement. Why else could she have been on drugs? Any idea mom?

Christine Trampler, Adrienne Martin’s mother, has said her daughter was having trouble sleeping in the months before her death.

Yeah, we hear cocaine is great for getting to sleep….right after doing the dishes, making enough sandwiches for an army, eating all the sandwiches and then being compelled to go to the east side at 2:15 pm on a Tuesday. So actually it works just like Ambien, just you do all that crazy stuff before you pass out instead of right after.

Things are getting interesting for August Busch IV, aka St. Louis’ Charlie Sheen.

via STLToday

No, nothing illegal here officer….oh ok, yeah, that gun. I meant nothing illegal other than that gun. Wanna autograph?

St. Louis native and current Denver Broncos running back Laurence Maroney was arrested Sunday night for unlawful weapons and drug charges. Let us guess: All that stuff belonged to your buddies and you didn’t know they had it?

“Mr. Maroney was unlawfully arrested for possession of weapons. He holds a permit to carry a concealed weapon and he had his permit on his person when he was arrested. He was not arrested for any drugs nor was he involved in a high speed chase. He was released without being charged with any offense and we do not anticipate he will be charged with any criminal offense,” according to the statement given to KMOV.com.

Mugshot! (We’d so do that with our hair if we could. That or the Kid n’ Play “House Party” look. Spazy and un-combed straight hair is pretty close though. Word.)

Police reports contend that a 25-year old (Maroney’s age) was indicated that he had a valid conceal and carry permit, didn’t have it on him, and was arrested for possessing a firearm while under the influence of drugs. That report conflicts, to some degree, with the statement above.

Lets say he does have that gun legally, and maybe he wasn’t smoking any of the drugs, and maybe he was just high-speed chase adjacent…but that seems like an awful lot of crimes to be around without being involved in any of them doesn’t it? At best, Maroney, the former New England Patriot, needs some new St. Louis friends, but at worst he could be looking at a stiff punishment for any of those crimes he “witnessed”.

Playing for the Denver Broncos last year might count as “time served” though, so he might be ok after all.

via Fox News and KSDK

As we all know it’s a rough time out there for everyone, but the economy is hitting the crack heads the hardest. Find out what one Belleville woman sold to get herself a little taste right after the weather!

It’s cold, rainy and totally sucks.

Cool, one Belleville woman is behind bars tonight after selling her children’s Christmas gifts to purchase crack.

Sheriff’s Capt. Steven Johnson said Bauers, the mother of two young sons, stole about $1,000 worth of toys and gifts that the children’s grandmother bought last week. [Sandra J. Bauers] then sold the gifts to buy crack, he said.

To be fair, your kids will be your kids for like forever, but crack is a right now, “I totally need it to kill the bugs crawling under my skin.” kinda thing.

It gets worse though…

[The children's grandmother, Pamela Gyon] said her husband is fighting cancer and is on disability. He received his monthly disability check last week and Gyon went shopping for the grandkids. Gyon bought about $1,000 in presents for the children, intending to let Bauers give some of them to her two sons as if she had purchased them.

On Thursday night, after the shopping spree, Bauers slept over at the grandmother’s home in the 100 block of Pecan Lane, in unincorporated St. Clair County. They kept the presents in the grandmother’s vehicle so the kids wouldn’t see them, Johnson said.

The next morning, the 4-year-old boy woke up, looking for his mother. Bauers was gone — and so was the grandmother’s car full of gifts.

Holy crap. Wait wait wait…it gets worse…er…

“Sandra is driving, and in her right hand is a crack pipe,” Johnson said. “She admits she sold all of the presents. She sold some of the stuff to a crack house. She sold some at a pawn shop/liquor store at 15th and Missouri in East St. Louis. She sold some on the street.”

The gifts included children’s toys, figurines, clothing, blankets, DVDs.

“We had Nerf machine guns, the big ones. Lots of t-shirts and jeans and socks and underwear. Pillow pets,” said the grandmother, Gyon.

Nice plug for Pillow Pets, but…yeah…there’s more…

The gifts were not only for Bauers’ two children, they were for all of the grandmother’s five grandchildren and one great-niece.

…and more…

And what kind of Christmas will the grandkids have now?

“None,” the grandmother says flatly. “We’re on disability and we don’t get paid again until January.”

Anyone else imagining this lady Grinch-style with the way over-stuffed bag of toys staring down a little sad Whovillian?

While sitting in jail late last night, crackhead Sandra J. Bauers thought about all the Christmases she’d ruined and as she thought about it her heart grew ten times it’s size that night…and then she died…crack abuse can give you Cardiomegaly, so she’s dead. Real human hearts don’t just grow like that because of love, you dumbass, and secondly how the hell can something grow big enough to break the xray scope?! Makes no sense at all. In fact, we’re starting to think this Dr. Seuss isn’t really all that much of a doctor after all!

(She’s not really dead. She’s still alive and horrible and all about the crack, but that’s not as funny as sticking to the Grinch theme.)

via STLToday and every child’s nightmares