Midtown restaurant The Fountain on Locust has been nominated and is now a finalist for the America’s Best Restroom contest being put on by the Cintas Corporation, who makes crappers, but probably doesn’t like people calling them “crappers”.

What’s so special about The Fountain on Locust?

The Fountain on Locust’s bathroom was picked because of its hand-painted murals, ornate fixtures and designer mirrors.

You can vote online for the final round at www.bestrestroom.com, and then go poop in your now obviously lame bathroom.

From the website, Texts From Last Night, we present to you the Top 10 texts from the 314 area code!

#10:

i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.

#9:

Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.

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Add it to the list of things St. Louis gets: Underground explosions.

Around 5p Wednesday evening, City Hall was shaken by an underground explosion, which they said it was a blown transformer…no, not the cool kind of Transformer, but the boring kind that AmerenUE breaks every winter and summer…and fall…and spring.

Government excuses bullshit.

Our guess?

That’s were we buried former Cardinal Ray King after we “traded” him a while back. Turns out he was just sleeping and he’s pissed. This is gonna be just like Cloverfield, but it will be sweatier and with more walks.

Ok…there’s no reason we can’t all walk away from this. Click on an ad? Sure. Whatever you want…um which one? Uh…we mean we don’t see them because they are so unobtrusive and not at all annoying when they roll over what I’m trying to read and can’t go back up. Look, if you want to keep paying Jeff Gordon to do who knows what, that’s fine. It has nothing to do with us…lets just not take this to a point where you can’t turn back man. Was it the racists in your forums that drove you to this point where you are pulling a piece on your web readers? We’re just trying to understand. “Site on site” crime really has to stop! Jesus, just one time cite a blogger as a source when they beat you to the punch!

Found by a reader on STLToday over the weekend:

We aren’t sure at this time if the glue would have helped keep the swing together better or if STLToday is suggesting we actually put the child back together with Elmers.

More as this story develops.

Which old-timer St. Louis sports announcer was spotted deciding it was quicker to just whip it out and pee in the parking lot, in broad daylight, instead of heading inside for a real bathroom?

In other news, the above mentioned’s employer is more pissed off than pissed on about the the performance the deal they signed that included the old parking lot pisser, trying desperately to dump the broadcast contract.

“Hey its storming. Lets go to the park!”

“Ow.”

“Did we just get hit by lightning?”

“I think so.”

“We should tell someone.”

“Ok. How about a park ranger?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“I’m going to sit down.”

As storms rolled through the area Monday, three females on their way to St. Vincent County Park said they believed they were struck by lightning while en route.

The females, ages 22, 18, and 12 approached a park official and said notified the officer of their condition. When paramedics arrived on scene, the females were on the ground.

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We’ve only been posting here at Punching Kitty for about a year and a half, but its not the only time we’ve taken a moment to enjoy how amazingly weird St. Louis really is. Take for instance this story about Fox 2 anchor Randi Naughton and her admirer Ricky Lamming which we originally wrote for Hell Yeah Bitch! .com. We recently ran across this old story and well, consider this a Punching Kitty prequel.

Photo from the Riverfront Times.

Performer Terra Jole aka “Mini Lady Gaga” — who formerly portrayed “Mini Britney” (Spears) — strutted, sang and danced at Home Nightclub in St. Charles on Saturday, May 22, 2010. Photos by Egan O’Keefe.

Watch out folks. Gonna be hotter than hell on Monday.

Kinda hope this is true. We’d get some odd satisfaction of watching each station’s weather person go crazy over the now destroyed all time high temperature record in May…and right before they pitch it back to sports, they burst in to flames.

via Davbak on Reddit St. Louis