St. Louis Police Try to Squash Scrap Metal Theft

 Posted on March 25, 2011  |  The Editor

Since the beginning of 2010 there has been 3,485 incidents, totaling over $4.6 million dollars, of scrap metal theft in the St. Louis area, with the most common form being the theft of copper tubing from homes. When asked for a response, the Mayor’s office (probably) offered: “What do you want from us? Geez. It’s better than getting knife-raped.” Well, that’s a good point, but this still seems like a pretty big problem, so the police are looking in to the matter by rounding up the area scrap metal dealers and asking them to please stop facilitating this whole shady industry since we’re all pretty sure there isn’t an underground penny counterfeiting copper press somewhere all the copper thieves have access too. [Read More]
copper  scrap metal  theft 

St. Louis’ Grinch Enjoys the Crack Cocaine

 Posted on December 16, 2010  |  The Editor

As we all know it’s a rough time out there for everyone, but the economy is hitting the crack heads the hardest. Find out what one Belleville woman sold to get herself a little taste right after the weather! It’s cold, rainy and totally sucks. Cool, one Belleville woman is behind bars tonight after selling her children’s Christmas gifts to purchase crack. Sheriff’s Capt. Steven Johnson said Bauers, the mother of two young sons, stole about $1,000 worth of toys and gifts that the children’s grandmother bought last week. [Read More]
christmas  crack  drugs  mom  theft 

Nativity Scene Stolen from Hope Lutheran School

 Posted on December 14, 2010  |  The Editor

The South City Hope Lutheran School‘s nativity scene was stolen recently in the beginning of a crime wave that can only escalate to other honorable crimes such as throwing puppies against brick walls, kicking old lady’s in the neck and talking the whole time through the Yogi Bear movie. The theft happened over the weekend. Nearly 30 figures were painted and added to the display. Kindergartners dedicated parts of this to honor someone special. [Read More]
hell  jesus  morons  nativity scene  theft 

Guy Shoots Himself While Trying to Stop Car Thieves

 Posted on December 10, 2010  |  The Editor

‘Twas a cold St. Louis night, when all through this dude’s house not a creature was stirring, not even the homeless guy living in his garage. When out on the lawn there rose such a clatter, dude sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. What’s this? Two guys stealing my brother’s car? He tore open the shutters and grabbed his gun! …and promptly walked on his porch, tripped and shot himself in the leg. [Read More]
car  shooting  theft 

Betty White Stole Some Jewelry in O’Fallon, Missouri

 Posted on November 29, 2010  |  The Editor

Damn you Betty White! First you remind everyone you aren’t dead and suddenly become the nation’s “Random Old Person” joke appearing on every stupid show that can afford your rider of Metamucil, Blackjack chewing gum and a bowl of only red heart pills. Now, your showing up at Randy’s Jewelry in O’Fallon and stealing? Stop it Betty White! Your random appearances are no longer humorous or funny. We’ll have someone wheel you back in to obscurity with the rest of the old people in a moment. [Read More]
betty white  jewelry  ofallon  theft 

Chef Steals From Restaurant

 Posted on June 29, 2010  |  The Editor

Its not just the bus boys at your local Denny’s you have to keep your guard up around to make sure they don’t steal stuff, its everyone, in all kitchens apparently…from the crack-head dishwashers to the fancy chef being recruited to come work for you. All of them. Not you though. The rest of them. Chef Mark A. Curran has been the public face of the fine-dining restaurant Araka, but now he’s accused of burglarizing and stealing from the restaurant. [Read More]
Araka  chef  food  Mark Curran  theft 

Cops Nab 45 Car Thieves After Starting New Program

 Posted on June 3, 2010  |  The Editor

St. Louis’ finest has struck a big blow against our city’s horrible car theft problem with a new program, netting nearly 50 criminals in just one week. The new program is called “Actually Trying” Thieves are becoming more sophisticated and more organized when it comes to what police call ‘car clouting,’ according to authorities. To fight back, a special patrol of officers is working the central corridor of the city from downtown to the Central West End. [Read More]
carjacking  police  theft 

Thieves Rip off Weather Man’s Car Outside of KSDK Office

 Posted on April 6, 2010  |  The Editor

KSDK weather man Anthony Slaughter was one of nine speedy car breakins early Sunday morning which happened right outside of the KSDK offices in downtown St. Louis. Mike Owens reporting for KSDK – The suspects pulled up in a white Pontiac a few minutes after 3:00 a.m. In less than 2 minutes, they had broken into two cars and were on their way. One of the cars, an older model Chevrolet, is owned by NewsChannel 5 weathercaster Anthony Slaughter. [Read More]
anthony slaughter  car  ksdk  mike owens  theft