Horse Outsmarts Downtown Carriage Jacker

One of those horse-drawn carriages was jacked Tuesday night by a cane wielding assailant who apparently found no cars worthy of stealing or more likely, as this took place downtown, there might not have been any cars left that hadn’t already been broken in to. The St. Louis Carriage Company driver Larry Turner said he was steering his horse, Harry, back to the company’s stables about 8:25 p.m. toward the end of his shift. [Read More]

Marine’s War Medals Stolen While Visiting the Arch

Fellow St. Louisans, let us drop a senario on you and you tell us when you start to get worried: A Marine and wife were visiting family near St. Louis after recently coming back from a tour in Afghanistan (Eh, ok. Not too worried yet.) and while on their way to the airport to fly back to where he is stationed in Hawaii (Sounds nice!) they decided to stop in and visit the Arch (Hmm. [Read More]

Lindenwood University Can’t Have Nice Things

Lindenwood University’s Belleville campus used to have a statue in anchored near the Welcome Center, but that statue was stolen because it’s St. Louis, and even weird statues anchored in concrete are no longer safe. Investigators are trying to get to the bottom of an art heist in Belleville. Not quite sure this counts as an “art heist”. We we think of art heists, we’re assuming an elaborate scheme to steal a Mona Lisa-type piece, and involve at least one hacker, one super hot chick, a smooth leader and one black dude to be the one that has to start a distraction when the shit goes down…not two assholes walking straight to it at 2:30am, pushing it over, throwing it in a ditch and then coming back for it with their truck. [Read More]

Some Fat Kid in Wig Tried to Steal a Bunch of Pork Products From the Alton Shop N Save

The 19-year old pictured above wearing his awesome wig, Darrion Taylor, was recently apprehended at the Alton Shop ‘N Save by the store’s security guard and his off-duty policeman father who was visiting the store that the time. Taylor was trying to sneak out the following pork products totaling roughly $44 dollars: 2 packages of Pork Picnic Roast 2 packages of bacon 2 packages of Oreos 1 box of Peanut Butter Puffs cereal 1 package of “meat” 1 package of port shanks 1 package of Bar-S Jumbo Franks From the looks of it also appears homeboy was smuggling a few hams in his shirt, but he may have had them already as KSDK didn’t list them in the oddly intricate details they provided for some reason. [Read More]

An Overly Theatric Thief Robbed Some People in Dellwood

Did you guys see the guy running around Dellwood Sunday night with a shotgun and wearing a hockey mask? Well don’t get too excited…it turns out that he wasn’t Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles extra Casey Jonesas we originally thought. Meaning, one, that our autograph is seemingly worthless, and two, that he was probably the guy that robbed the home for mentally disabled adults around those parts. Sure, this is St. Louis, and there could have been two guys in hockey masks and shotguns, but we have a hunch that this was the guy. [Read More]

Guy Admits To Robbing Over 160 Cars a Month

While trying to hunt down a stolen car last Friday, Lincoln County cops stumbled upon a car jacking savant out in Winfield, Missouri. Joseph Walker the 3rd is only 19, but he’s managed to display his skills in a way very unbecoming of someone who is “the 3rd” of anything. The Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office Patrol Division had been attempting to locate an older model Black GMC Sonoma. The driver of the Sonoma was observed on surveillance camera several days earlier, both at Jack in the Box and Fast Lane in Troy, making purchases with a stolen credit card from one of the vehicles. [Read More]

St. Louis is Home to the Only People That Actually Wanted to Get in a Radio Shack

Ever been to a Radio Shack? No? Well don’t bother. They’re empty little stores filled with horrible cell phones, overly expensive cables and little portable black and white TVs that are totally pointless, unless you like watching Mr. Bean reruns on PBS through a haze of static on a 2.5-inch screen. No one wants to go in to a Radio Shack…well, almost no one. The target of the vandals was the Radio Shack store in the 3500 block of Hampton Avenue near Potomac Street. [Read More]

Translating Police Chief Dan Isom’s Response To Citizen’s Police Complaints

Over the last weekend a piece ran in the Post Dispatch about a guy that had his laptop stolen. With the help of exactly no one, he managed to locate the thief by logging in to his computer and trick him in to typing in his name and address. The victim gave all the information to the police who did…nothing. Four days after the June 20 burglary of his Pennsylvania Avenue home, Van Almsick grew tired of waiting. [Read More]

Police Say Your Downtown Parked Car Might Get Stolen, Public Replies With “Duh.”

Friday night, 62 cars were broken into downtown, most of them just south of Busch Stadium. It’s time like these when we wish the police would tell us everything’s going to be ok and that not to worry, they’ve got things under control. We don’t live in a town where you can’t even go to a ballgame without thinking about what inning you should leave to go get your car rather than thinking about what inning you have to leave before your deluxe nachos make a reappearance south of the border, do we? [Read More]

License Plate Stickers Could Move to Your Dashboard

A common, but often over-looked crime in the St. Louis area is the theft of those little license plate stickers. Sure, most people are pissed, but not bleeding when they realize they’ve been victimized, so it’s not exactly at the top of everyone’s mind, but estimations are that the sticker theft costs the state of Missouri around $10 Million every year. That’s a lot. Like “turn out the lights and lets do this thing…no kissing though” a lot. [Read More]