It’s been a official for a few days now, but Missouri made all strip clubs suck and turned our state in to the equivalent of a Catholic Grade School dance. No booze, no one can touch each other, we have to be home by midnight, and despite all the asexual rules, the perverts have no trouble finding some very illegal tail.

We here at Punching Kitty are outraged by these lame unsexy laws. Sure its good to see a few of the skanky clubs shut down because no one wanted to see some 50-year-old stripper fling herpes around the place as he get lifted on to the pole, but dammit, want about the good strippers, or the amateur nights? What about the way some fat chick gets pushed up on stage acting all reluctant until you see her get really in to the dancers and you put two and two together? We live in Missouri dammit! This is all we have!