Police Chief Dotson is Already Getting Good at the Crime Numbers Math Game

 Posted on January 28, 2013  |  The Editor

KMOV recently sat down with new St. Louis Police Chief Sam Dotson, and it’s pretty clear the man is already getting good at the ole “It’s not as bad as it seems” game, picking up right where former Chief Isom left off. Sam Dotson was candid and poignant in his answers saying “one homicide is too many,” and the goal for his department is to have a year with no killings. [Read More]
Crime  Sam Dotson  stlpd 

Are the STLPD Using City Officers to Investigate Online Piracy Rather Than Our Local Violent Crime Issues?

 Posted on October 8, 2012  |  The Editor

Yes. According to a report from Ars Technica, St. Louis has received a grant from the federal government with the goal of using city officers to investigate online piracy. Sure there are constant fire fights happening blocks from where your family sleeps, but somewhere there’s a 12-year-old downloading an illegal copy of “Madagascar 3” and that’s clearly a more important goal for our already thin police force. In St. Louis, David Marzullo, a police spokesperson told Ars that the city would be using its grant money to form a “area task force consisting of federal, state, and local law enforcement agencies to share resources and increase enforcement of existing state and federal IP laws. [Read More]
piracy  police  stlpd 

Translating STL Police Chief Dan Isom’s Denials About Leaving the Position

 Posted on September 20, 2012  |  The Editor

KMOX has a source that tells them St. Louis Police Chief Dan Isom might be mulling an opportunity to leave his glamorous post as the lead protector of the city and take a job teaching at the university level. We’re guessing he’d be teaching art because you don’t get to be St. Louis’ top cop without getting really good at tracing bodies in chalk. A reporter for KMOX caught up to Chief Isom in an attempt to confirm the report, but he was met with an “artfully vague” response. [Read More]
dan isom  stlpd 

St. Louis Area Police Brace For More Violence, Practice Shooting Stoic Figures

 Posted on August 10, 2012  |  The Editor

Update: Changed the title, because obviously you can’t shoot someone with a knife…what we we’re were trying to say that they are shooting people holding kn…doesn’t matter. New title! This year, despite cheery tweets from @MayorSlay to the contrary, violence is as high as it’s ever been, but particularly noteworthy is the amount of violence we’ve seen towards police officers. Time and time again we’ve seen comments from the STLPD and their peers that the average criminal doesn’t seem to give a damn anymore about turning on the police. [Read More]
police  stlpd  training  violence 

The St. Louis Police Department Wants to Buy Some Fancy New Clothes

 Posted on September 7, 2011  |  The Editor

“Oh officer, thank god you’re here! I’ve been shot three times in the leg and the guy left about 30 minutes ago in my car but my daughter is still in the car so at least I didn’t have to deal with her while I was bleeding all over the sidew…oh now don’t you look nice!” The St. Louis Police department is dropping some change on a new set of “formal” uniforms for each officer. [Read More]
dan isom  police  politics  stlpd 

St. Louis Cop Claims Responsibility for Leaked Crime Scene Photo

 Posted on March 22, 2011  |  The Editor

This is where we would normally ask if you remember the case a few days ago where a US Marshal was killed in the process of trying to take down one Carlos Boles and that since then, there as been a leaked crime scene Boles’ lifeless body leaked to the internet. We would say that, but we know that most of you already know this because people have been coming here in droves to see if we had it. [Read More]
carlos boles  crime scene  morons  photo  stlpd 

No Layoffs for St. Louis City Police! The Fire Department However…

 Posted on March 16, 2011  |  The Editor

Question: Have you, or a loved one, had your car stolen by a fire by chance? Were you mugged by Fire recently? Ok, seriously now, where did Fire touch you? Did Fire rape you? If you’re answering no for the most part and have just been robbed, mugged, raped and stabbed by humans while living in the city, then all together, this should be good news. The St. Louis city Police Department will not have to lay off any officers this year! [Read More]
fire department  layoffs  police department  politics  stlfd  stlpd 

Post Dispatch Uncovers Towing Scandal During Mardi Gras

 Posted on February 17, 2009  |  The Editor

Over the past eight months, the Post-Dispatch has revealed controversial ties between the police department and St. Louis Metropolitan Towing: perks given to the police chief’s daughter, questionable tactics used to gouge vehicle owners and hundreds of thousands of dollars the company kept from taxpayers. But the relationship proved most lucrative during one day each year: Mardi Gras’ major parade day. That was from the article in the Post Dispatch about the apparently many-layered scheme that originated from recently ousted Police Chief Joe “I keep looking dirtier every day” Mokwa. [Read More]
corrupt.police  mardi gras  morons  parking  stlpd  towing