Rams Take First Place in Losing

 Posted on January 4, 2010  |  The Editor

Good news everyone! Because of their complete and total suckage, the Rams have managed to grab ahold of 2010’s #1 draft pick! Oh yeah…they lost the game vs the 49ers though. Totally got killed. But now we have the #1 pick in the next draft, which is huge, because we really haven’t done all that well with the #2 pick. Chris Long? Eh. We’ll see. Jason Smith? Ditto, though he was screwed up by the Rams bizarre choice to not play him right away and when they did, play him at a foreign position. [Read More]
ndamukong suh  nfl  rams  suck 

Incognito Delivers Parting Shot to St. Louis

 Posted on December 21, 2009  |  The Editor

Those last three dumb-ass penalties that Rams Guard Richie Incognito earned in his last game as a Ram cost him $50,000 in fines. When asked about the fines today, Incognito had this to say: “With the fine of 50 grand, I would have gladly paid more to get out of that situation in St. Louis,” Incognito said Sunday after the New England Patriots beat the Bills 17-10 in Ralph Wilson Stadium. [Read More]
football  morons  nfl  rams  richie incognito 

The Rams Release Problem Child Richie Incognito

 Posted on December 16, 2009  |  The Editor

Yesterday afternoon, ole “Coach Spags” of our St. Louis Rams finally found what we all were hoping he would some day: His balls. Finally after costing us a tons of penalty yards and being a general douche for pretty much the whole time he was here, the Rams cut Richie Incognito. Let him have it Coach! Tell this punk he’s outa here! “As with all other personnel moves, this is what we felt was in the best interest of the team at this time,” said Spagnuolo. [Read More]
douche bag  football  nfl  rams  richie incognito 

Would You Want Mike Martz to Come Back to the Rams?

 Posted on December 7, 2009  |  The Editor

One of Punching Kitty’s favorite sports columnists, Bernie Miklasz, has a great article up on STLToday.com about former Rams coach and perennial news lightning rod Mike Martz. After stops in Detroit and San Francisco, Mad Mike is cooling his x and o’s marker as a TV analysts, but he clearly still yearns for a coaching job. Martz, 58, hopes for a second chance at being a head coach, or even a coordinator, but recognizes the trends work against him. [Read More]
bernie miklasz  mike martz  rams 

Mayor Slay Institutes Draft to Restock Rams Roster

 Posted on November 18, 2009  |  The Editor

For immediate release: Monday, after the Rams’ Wide Receiver Keenan Burton suffered a season-ending knee injury, Mayor Slay introduced the draft for all St. Louis men between the ages of 22 and 30. Men selected are to report immediately to Rams Park, put on the pads and play until they are hurt, at which point they can go back to their normal lives knowing that they have served their city in it’s time of need. [Read More]
draft  fake  nfl  rams 

Richie Incognito Visits a Blood Drive

 Posted on November 17, 2009  |  The Editor

Here, in this photo from STLToday.com, we see Rams lineman Richie Incognito visiting blood donors today in Richmond Heights. After this happy moment you see here, Richie told everyone there that just because they were giving blood they knew how to cheer for the Rams. Then he punched this lovely lady in the face and took off early. When asked for a comment, Coach Spagnolo said “he was just really ‘fired up’ for the blood drive and you have to do appearances with passion. [Read More]
fake  rams  richie incognito 

The Rams Win the Slap Fight Between the Two NFL Sissies

 Posted on November 2, 2009  |  The Editor

Holy crap the Rams won a game! Let me rephrase: Steve Jackson won a game. The rest of them stood around and took penalties for a few hours. For those that missed the game, here’s a recap: There were tons of dropped balls and penalties and, well…here’s a clip from the game: Of course there will be those that will spend all day today talking about this being a “turing point” and how this was when people took control, but lets cut the crap. [Read More]
lions  nfl  rams  win 

101 ESPN’s Randy Karraker to Buy Rams?

 Posted on October 22, 2009  |  The Editor

First off, let me do a little finger wagging at 101 ESPN for not including the mighty Punching Kitty on their press release list. Secondly, here’s their new publicity stunt. Its so obviously as stunt we normally wouldn’t report on it, but we really like Randy Karraker around here, so what the hell… Here’s the part the matters: WXOS-FM’s Randy Karraker announced that he is stepping up to the plate in a bid to purchase the St. [Read More]
101 espn  radio  rams  randy karraker  Sports  wxos 

The Rams Traded Someone

 Posted on October 21, 2009  |  The Editor

It was Wil Witherspoon. Its ok if you’ve never heard of him, and if thats the case you are totally not going to know the guy we got for him, Brandon Gibson, a rookie wide receiver from the Eagles. Here’s your scouting report from the Rams. They are psyched. “Brandon is a young receiver that we have followed since training camp,” Rams GM Billy Devaney said in a statement. “He has good size (6-0 and 210), good hands and had a very productive preseason. [Read More]
football  nfl  rams  trade