What have we done to deserve all these trickster St. Louis teams?

“Oh I, we’re the Cardinals. We’re going to be pretty good there year! …oh wait, no we won’t. Ooop! Lets make the playoffs suddenly…no we won’t, wait…yes we will…just…barely. Hello Phillies! *shot in the face* Just a flesh wound!”

“Hey everyone, we’re the Rams! We did a lot of good stuff last year and spent some money in free agency so everyone says we’re definitely going to be even better and will totally make the playoffs. Oh crap. Turns out we suck more balls than the Oreck Deluxe Handheld Vac. What? You didn’t catch that somewhat obscure infomercial reference? We know how you feel. We don’t catch anything. Ever.”

Did you know there is such a thing as “Ram Rules”? Well there is, and if you were hoping a bunch of numb-nuts in over-the-top Rams gear can go through the first 5 with you, then you just passed Ram Rule #0: Be so stupid you need instructions on how to cheer at a sporting event.

…earlier we mentioned those are just the “first” 5, and we say that no because we want to George Lucas all over this shit and make it worse, but because a there are clearly more than just 5 Ram Rules. Maybe they’re implied by the people that created this video, but actually…

St. Louis Rams running back Steven Jackson was pulled on stage last night while seeing Jabb Awoc Keez and tweeted a photo of him breaking it down. Take a good look Rams fans! This may be the most action you see out of any of the Rams as they could go from poppin’ and lockin’ to just locked out in a few days.

Good moves though. We bet that’s exactly what it would look like if a marionette was pooping on stage.

Good god Rams. You start prepping for a draft where you aren’t picking in the top 3 for the first time in a few years and you get all crazy and start pissing all over buildings? Keep it together guys.

Luke Driscoll, a Rams NFL scout was arrested under charges of public nudity and intoxication in Indianapolis while in town for the NFL Combine.

Police say he also exposed himself to a female officer. His speech was reportedly “very slurred” at the time. Driscoll is charged with public nudity and intoxication. He is an 11-year member of the rams’ scouting department.

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February 18th, 2011…a day that will live in infamy for St. Louis sports. Well, maybe not…unless you’re really attached to the Rams’ O.J. Atogwe, the Blue’s Eric Brewer and the shell of Jim Edmonds. If you are, go get yourself a coke and try to shake it off! Tomorrow will be better…don’t look at STLToday’s Sports home page though. Actually, just turn away right now, because here it is!

Seriously check this crap out: Every single major sports team in St. Louis lost a player through either trade, release, or retirement.

To fill the coaching hole left by the new Cleveland Browns head coach Pat Shurmur, the Rams made a big “splash” hire by picking up hot offensive coordinator prospect Josh McDaniels. McDaniels, you may remember, was recently the head coach for the horrible Denver Broncos and before that the boy-genius behind the New England Patriots’ prolific offenses in 2006-2008.

Also someone out in California doesn’t like him much.

As you can see in the image above from our tipster, someone added the following line to the end of McDaniels’ Wikipedia bio:

Last week, just after the Rams season came to a close with the thunderous sound of sucking like it was 2009, 2nd year head coach Steve Spagnuolo fired Todd Hewitt abruptly closing his 24 year tenure as team equipment manager. Hewitt succeeded his father in the role, and, in total, had been with the Rams in some capacity since 1978.

We’d been ignoring the Hewitt story, also known as, St. Louis sports media’s current fixation, so far because we didn’t know anything about it. No one did, but the sports guys were still all over it: Bernie Miklasz questioned it, KFNS was all over it, 101ESPN didn’t seem to care hmm…well they’re Rams partners aren’t they? It was weird story for sure, but until someone talked, there wasn’t much for us to say.

Sunday was Sam Bradford and the Rams chance to shine. They should have beaten a bad Seahawks team and at least showed a national audience that the Rams are up-and-commers in the league with a flash new star-in-the-making quarterback, Sam Bradford, not to mention doing the NFL a solid by not allowing the first sub .500 team in to the playoffs.

None of that stuff happened.

As far as we know, there’s only been one drug deal done in the St. Charles Bass Pro Shop parking lot, and it ended with four guys killing St. Charles native and current Rams practice squad member Brandon Joyce. Seems like the safe bet is to go do your drug deals in the parking lots of White Castles like the rest of us.

In a probable cause statement, police said Joyce and a friend had planned to buy drugs from Cory Brooks and the fourth unidentified suspect. Police said the unidentified suspect shot Joyce once in the head during an attempt to steal his money.

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The Rams had to win and they did, despite their usual lame offensive coaching when they get even the smallest of leads.

Sam Bradford led the charge with 292 yards, going 28 for 37 with 1 touchdown and no interceptions, all while breaking Peyton Manning’s 12-year old record for NFL rookie completions.

“I guess it’s pretty cool,” Bradford said of the record. “I’m all fired up about the win. If you don’t get excited for a game like this, you’re probably in the wrong business.”

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