Six people were shocked while swimming in a Granite City swimming pool over the weekend, and while everyone is fine, the question remains: Why were they shocked?

Was there a loose wire in some part of the pool? Was there some foul play afoot? …or was it something more obvious? Maybe they were shocked when uncle Jerry belly flopped his suit right off…or maybe they were shocked only after finding out that Granite City is actually in Illinois and finally realized why their house was so cheap. It could have also been the total shock of Amy Winehouse dying, because weren’t we all surprised to see the reports of the “Rehab” singer being found on the floor of her flat? It may have been drugs, it could have been a body giving up after being so ugly for so long, or maybe there was a giant tumor under than beehive, who knows*!

A St. Charles man has been arrested after he exposed himself to the patrons at Wapelhorst Park pool Tuesday.

The St. Charles County man, 53, pulled down his swimsuit, exposing his buttocks and genitals about 1 p.m. at the park’s public pool in the 1900 block of Muegge Road, police said. Several other customers, including children and seniors, were using the pool at the time.

We’ll give him credit for being confident enough to stare a public shrinkage viewing the face and still decide to go through with a plan, but maybe there’s a better way to go about drying off your winkie dink.

A community pool in Belleville had to shut down yesterday, during one of the hottest days ever in the history of time. Sure the water felt nice on such a hot day, but did it feel puking and parasite nice? Not sure. Maybe just invest in a Slip n’ Slide.

The health department told the city to use more chlorine after one swimmer became sick. After that, three more swimmers became ill.

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