Mr. Pringle is a Little Too Friendly in the Gym, Charged with Sexual Abuse

 Posted on February 21, 2011  |  The Editor

Lincoln Pringle, a 37 year-old man from O’Fallon, Missouri was arrested on February 11th after he took some liberties with a fellow apartment gym visitor. Pringle lifted the woman’s shirt and tried to grab some boob, but the woman deflected the attempt and called the police. Not only did the cops take one look at Pringle and totally believe the woman, but they went to the Post Dispatch and put a call out begging other ladies to speak up if Pringle has tried to attack them. [Read More]
ofallon  pringles  sexual assault 

St. Charles Gas Station Clerks Scare Easily

 Posted on January 24, 2011  |  The Editor

A man attempted to rob an O’Fallon, Missouri gas station holding only box cutters…and it worked somehow. Authorities say a man walked into the Phillips 66, 2700 Technology Drive, near Interstate 64 about 10 a.m., threatened a clerk with box cutters and demanded cash. The man ran out with less than $200 and hopped into a car believed to be a Honda Civic waiting outside, authorities said. No one was hurt. [Read More]
box cutter  ofallon  robbery  st charles 

Betty White Stole Some Jewelry in O’Fallon, Missouri

 Posted on November 29, 2010  |  The Editor

Damn you Betty White! First you remind everyone you aren’t dead and suddenly become the nation’s “Random Old Person” joke appearing on every stupid show that can afford your rider of Metamucil, Blackjack chewing gum and a bowl of only red heart pills. Now, your showing up at Randy’s Jewelry in O’Fallon and stealing? Stop it Betty White! Your random appearances are no longer humorous or funny. We’ll have someone wheel you back in to obscurity with the rest of the old people in a moment. [Read More]
betty white  jewelry  ofallon  theft 

Area Man Makes Mustang Ugly for the Troops

 Posted on November 3, 2010  |  The Editor

War is hell and now some guy’s Mustang looks the part. Dubbed the American Spirit, the muscle car is covered with 255 pictures depicting the history of American war veterans. The photos are grouped in chronological order, starting with the American Revolution on the back bumper and ending with Operation Iraqi Freedom on the front. The car sports the vanity license plates “LVNFRE,” and across the front fender in 14 karat gold are the words “A Tribute To The American Soldier. [Read More]
car  design  missouri  ofallon  social issues  usa 

Random Gunfire Moves to St. Charles County

 Posted on July 26, 2010  |  The Editor

Last night at around 7p a 16-year-old lifeguard at O’Fallon, MO’s Twin Chimneys Subdivision Pool was caught in the leg by a stray bullet. O’Fallon, Missouri police said the teen was hit in her upper leg while she was on the pool deck at Twin Chimneys Subdivision Pool on Sunday around 6:45 p.m. She was treated for minor injuries and was taken to an area hospital. Police do not know where the bullet came from, but said it could have been fired “a significant distance away” from the subdivision. [Read More]
missouri  ofallon  shooting 

O’Fallon and St. Peters Missouri Are Government Kiss-ups

 Posted on April 2, 2010  |  The Editor

You know those douche bags nerds that always turned in all their homework and when you didn’t have a chance to yours done because you were a little busy with feeling the naughty bits of the opposite sex, they would make sure the teacher knew that they did their work and you didn’t. You just want to put your foot so far up their ass that you leave trademarks on their adam’s apple right? [Read More]
census  ofallon  st. peters 

O’Fallon MO Police Join Twitter

 Posted on August 24, 2009  |  The Editor

The O’Fallon MO police department have joined Twitter! In other news, the Fonz successfully landed his death-defying jump over the shark. The OPD have squeezed out a total of four tweets, the first on August 19th, and have managed to scrape together a surprising 49 followers. @ofallonpolice themselves, are only following St. Louis’ Major Case Squad (@majorcasesquad) As of this writing, they did not respond to our question via a Twitter reply: [Read More]
ofallon  police  twitter 

Come Claim Your Gatorade From the O’Fallon Police Department

Come Claim Your Gatorade From the O’Fallon Police Department

 Posted on August 12, 2009  |  The Editor

Apparently there was quite a string of thefts in O’Fallon, MO involving some punk kids going through cars. Never fear though, the O’Fallon Police Department have solved the case after a COPS-worthy foot chase! On 07/22/09, at approximately 3:06 AM the O’Fallon Police Department received a call from the Patriots Landing subdivision in reference to two juveniles going through a vehicle. Officers responded and a rolling perimeter was established. Sgt. Jeff Lange located the subjects and engaged them in a foot chase, taking a juvenile into custody. [Read More]
ofallon  police  stolen 

Wait You Can’t Pay For Your Lemonade With Penis?

 Posted on July 28, 2009  |  The Editor

My man on the right there is about as sick as he is stupid. You see ole Rodney Swank was driving his truck down the road in his home town of O’Fallon MO on Octobor 4th of last year, when he saw a lemonade stand being run by 8 or 9, I’m assuming adorable, little girls. Swank then decided it would be a good idea to pull over and expose himself to the young entrepreneurs. [Read More]
lemonade  ofallon  pervert  rodney swank